By Suzie Chafin
In Part One of this article, we examined some of the ways that couples should approach their relationship to keep their marriage strong as they integrate twins/multiples into the family. Now, let’s take a look at some of those needs of the Mom. Okay, Husbands, its your turn to take notes. Let’s look at the needs of your wife:
Need One: To Feel Loved and Appreciated
I don’t know a women – especially a mother -- who doesn’t desire to feel appreciated. Usually we are the first ones awake and the last ones in bed. Often, we sacrifice our lives and careers for our children and we want to feel like someone has noticed. Husbands, it is your job to notice! Tell your wife how much you appreciate what she does for the family. Tell your wife how much you love her and how lucky your kids are to have her for a mother. Don’t let your words be empty – show her how you feel with a card here and there or a special surprise when she has had a bad day. Your wife will love you for it.
Need Two: To be Touched (Without Sex).
Women love to cuddle. Women love to be held. Women love to hold hands. We want to sense your manly strength, feel your manly arms wrapped around us with no expectation of sex. Cuddle with us in bed without expecting sex afterwards. Or, give us an awesome massage and then end it with a hug and an, " I love you" and nothing more. Your wife will feel loved and you might even get lucky without expecting to.
Need Three: To be Talked with and Listened To
We women love to talk. You men want the bottom line. We want to ramble sometimes without any point at all. You men just want the point and the point alone. Indulge your wife in conversation. Don’t spend all your words at the office before you come home. Save some of your time to communicate with her. If your wife has access to e-mail, send her a sweet message during the day. Or, pick up the phone and call her for no other reason but just to hear her voice and hear how her day is going.
In the middle of the daily grind it is easy to think we will have time for each other – and our marriage – later. Later may never come if you don’t actively participate in growing your marriage relationship today. Decide today that your marriage is worth the effort and that you will make it a top priority in your life. You can’t take your marriage or your spouse for granted. Allow this very busy season of your life to draw you closer together and not further apart. Allowing the constant demands of raising multiples to be a higher priority than your marriage will draw you apart over time and disconnect you from your spouse. Your spouse is not disposable; you cannot trade him or her in for new one (no matter how much you might want to at times). Remember the needs of your spouse and of your marriage. Not only will you enjoy meeting those needs, but years later your marriage, and your children, will continue to reap the rewards of your efforts.
Suzie Chafin is a Dallas, Texas mom of four children, including identical twin boys. She writes and lectures about family topics such as postpartum depression, managing multiples and Christian parenting. She is the author of Your Pregnancy Devotional. 
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