The twibling rivalry (that's my made-up term to describe the unique relationship between twin siblings) has been white hot around our home lately. The ferocity of emotion that my eight-year-old identical girls direct at each other astonishes me at times.
Every breath they take is a competition for oxygen. Every uttered word is a target for controversy. They bicker about anything and everything. They've argued about which side of the minivan to enter and who should shut the door when after they exit. This morning they woke up arguing about who would turn off the alarm clock. The argument continued at the breakfast table, with a debate over who received more face time with the cereal box, reading the nutritional breakdown and ingredient list. Then they jockeyed for position at the bus stop to see who could board the bus first.
During the school year, they get a break from each other during the day, where they are placed in separate classes. But the rivalry resumes the moment they return home, in constant competition to get the "best" snack as they try to out talk each other in describing their adventures at school
It's maddening to be their mother sometimes. I simply don't understand why they're always at odds. From my vantage point, they're both happy, well-adjusted girls with everything a child could want from life, if not more. I can't comprehend why they're so resentful of each other. Why can't they be happy with what they have, instead of worried that their sister might get something better?
I know that it's a phase. It won't always be like this. Like so many other aspects of parenting multiples, this "two" shall pass. Their rivalry escalates from time to time, and soon enough we'll pass into a blissful period during which they're best buddies (more like partners in crime!). So many of my friends who have sisters say "They may fight now, but they'll treasure each other when they're grown."
But we can't wait until they're grown and gone to have peace in the house. So, we've tried to generate some harmony, using simple tactics to remind the girls about how special they are, how much they have to be grateful for, and how lucky they are to have each other. Read on to discover what we did, and how it worked for our family.
