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Pamela Prindle Fierro

Is Having Twins the Same as Having Two Children Close in Age?

By March 1, 2010

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Parents of twins hear it all the time ... "Oh, I had my kids thirteen months apart. It was just like having twins." Do you agree with this statement? Take this Parent's Poll, and then share your thoughts by clicking on Comments.

Poll: Is having twins the same as having two children close in age?


See what other parents think: View Results

Comments
April 18, 2007 at 5:31 pm
(1) Nelly says:

Having had one set of twins and two close in age singletons, I would say both scenarios have their advantages and disadvantages, but are not at all the same!!

April 18, 2007 at 7:17 pm
(2) multiples says:

Nelly, you have very good perspective on this issue, having both situations within your family. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

April 23, 2007 at 7:51 pm
(3) ERICA says:

I have to disagree, my friend had girls 13 mths apart and i had twins, i think that its harder to have twins, than to have kids close in age.

April 24, 2007 at 8:44 am
(4) Sheilia says:

My two older boys were 16 months apart and at the time I did compare the situation to having twins. Well, along came the twins and I was wrong. Each situation is very unique and offers different challenges. I do think it’s more difficult with twins however the joy they bring is immeasurable.

April 24, 2007 at 8:50 am
(5) Donna says:

Both situations have their difficulties but it is not the same. Having two newborn babies is different than having a newborn & a 1 year old. My twins are now 5 and I also have an almost 1 year old. I definately think it would be easier to have a newborn with my 1 year old than it was to have two newborns. But I do realize that there would be different problems in that scenario too. But with a 1 year age gap, each child is at a different stage. Having two kids in the terrible 2′s can try even the best parents patience. Simularities YES, the same NO! Each situation has its difficulties, each has it’s advantages. Sending my girls off to JK they had a partner…my son he will be going off to JK ALL alone(even if I had a newborn now they would both be in different school years)…

April 24, 2007 at 8:54 am
(6) Debra says:

I have 5 children. My first 2 are 18 months apart, then 3 yrs later I had #3 and 3 yrs later had the twins. When I had only the first 2, I always compared it with having twins. Now that I have 8 month old twins, I can positively tell you it is NOT the same thing! With the older child you can put him in a high chair and give him a snack to keep him busy. The older child can play or watch a tv show while you are taking care of the baby. Plus (what I am going through now) you do not have 2 babies teething at the same time. It is definitely NOT the same! I hear this comment all the time too. Having two close in age is difficult, but in no way compares to having twins!

April 24, 2007 at 8:56 am
(7) Kelly says:

I had my twins first so I never new what it was like to have one baby. Then one of my twins was born with a disability and that added to the already present challenge of having newborns. Then 17 months later, I had a singleton. I have a lot of people tell me “it’s like having triplets” but I know it’s not. It might be close but it is definitly not the same. I feel that nobody else can really understand what it is like to have twins unless they themselves have had a set of twins!

April 24, 2007 at 9:19 am
(8) Lori says:

I have both, two older singletons close in age and young twins! Totally not the same. Hard in someways but beautiful in others. My older children just do no have the same relationship as the twins do. Completely not the same!!!

April 24, 2007 at 9:22 am
(9) Jennifer says:

When you have newborns you are getting to know them, how they like to be held, sleep patterns etc….if you have 2 children close in age you have gotten to know the likes and dislikes of the 1 year old. Multiples are a very different thing than 2 children close in age. It really irritates me when people with a couple of children close in age tell me how much HARDER they had it!!! I agree if you don’t have a set of multiples, you really cannot relate to my life.

April 24, 2007 at 9:29 am
(10) Dodi says:

My older kids are 17 months apart; there’s no way the twins are the same. I can say, that having another one 15 months after the twins does make it like triplets!

April 24, 2007 at 9:34 am
(11) Vicki in NJ says:

Same goes for grandparents! My mother-in-law kept saying she babysat her 3 older grandchildren…2 and 5 years apart…so she could definitely handle our twins. Suffice it to say, the 3 days a week she committed dwindled to 1 day! She’ll never admit it, but actions speak louder than words!

April 24, 2007 at 9:45 am
(12) Amber says:

I have 7 month old boy twins and I get the comment all of the time..”I had babies that were 1 year apart so I pretty much raised twins” I do not agree with this. Having twins is way harder. It has its advantages that I will agree with but when when you have two babies that are up 3-4 times a night, two babies in infant carriers, two babies that get shots at the same time, etc. I don’t think that even compares to having kids 1 year apart. But they are my first kids (and probably my last:-) ) so I don’t know anything different, I love them and would not trade them for anything!! You get double smiles, double hugs and double the love!!

April 24, 2007 at 10:25 am
(13) Leah says:

After reading some of the commments, I feel better with how I feel about twins. Having twins is NOT the same as having two close together. I have a 15 & 13 year old and twin girls who are 5 years old. So I do have first hand experience with having two close together and twins. I now get “at least your older two are OLDER” Well, that presents a different challenge when, at this moment, they are involved with volleyball, soccer and fastpitch and need I have to mention the friends? :) My twins don’t get home until about 8pm every night with all the running around I have to do and I am finding it hard to come up with the time to start them in something fun like soccer or swimming. I do work full time as well.

April 24, 2007 at 10:39 am
(14) taylor says:

I have twins and singletons very close together. Both can be difficult and rewarding in very different ways. We have 9 children with all different combinations. Our twin experience was so different than our babies born a year apart. The relationship between them is very different, even their development was different. None of my singles were that aware at such a young age of anyone other that mom and dad. My twins did everything but walk early. It was interesting.

April 24, 2007 at 11:07 am
(15) ebadullah khan says:

having twins even after a gap os less then 1 year aint much tuff,then a single mom having twins with no nanny atall

April 24, 2007 at 12:01 pm
(16) Tanya says:

I’m a mother of 12mos old twin boys, having kids close in age in nothing like having twins. I’m sure as the kids get older their might be some comparison of when you have kids close in age. But their is nothing like taking care of twin newborns at the same time! It’s a totally different expereience than raising sigletons that maybe close in age.

April 24, 2007 at 12:15 pm
(17) Brandy says:

I think that it is harder to have two close in age rather than twins. I have a son and a daughter who are 15 months apart and fraternal twin boys. I thought it was harder to chase a toddler while trying to nurse a newborn. At least twins do everything almost together.I think there is more sibling rivalry between my son and daughter than my twin boys.

April 24, 2007 at 2:21 pm
(18) Karen S says:

My husband and I are the gaurdians of almost 4 yr old twins, we are also the parents of two grown children, 2 1/2 yrs. apart. Having twins is nothing like having singletons. They are two children of the exact same emotional and intellectual age. Even a years age difference gives the older one more maturity, plus you are not potty training, etc. at the same time. Completely different and as I tell everyone, if you haven’t had multiples, you have no idea!

April 24, 2007 at 3:06 pm
(19) Nikki says:

I have boy/girl twins 3 yrs 9 months. They are my first two, but I can tell you that noone knows what it’s like to have twins unless they’ve had them themselves. I think it is VERY different than having 2 singletons! I think one would be easy! The best advice I ever got when my twins were first born was that it does not get better, it gets different! Very true!

April 24, 2007 at 3:47 pm
(20) dyanne says:

I have 4 children, the twins were last. I don’t think it’s the same, because of the issues in school, with friends, sport teams, etc. As a parent I had to deal with the one twin being better at football and the other at basketball and all the hurt feelings. There have been times where one is invited to a party and the other is left out – not a problem when the children are even somewhat different in age. Also in school now they insist on being in different classes (middle school) and they tend to “divvy up” their friends. I shudder to think what the competition might be like for girls when we get to high school next year. My older two always say how glad they are not to deal with some of these twin issues which I find is unique to being born at the same time.

April 25, 2007 at 11:52 am
(21) kelly says:

Parenting at it’s best is a very personal experience. I know many stay at home moms with one child and can barely handle being a mom. Then there are those who manage very well working, and have not only twins but several other children. Having been in both situations (close in age and twins) I can say for me it is absoultely different. However, as insane as having twins can be, my life and experiences as a mother is so musch more enriched because of my twins. Parenting identical twins has been my “cross” to bare- but also the most amazing and rewarding event in my life.

April 25, 2007 at 2:40 pm
(22) twinmom says:

Twins pose greater health risks during pregnancy and infancy; sleep challenges are multiplied not doubled; mom has mobility issues (more difficult to get around the house yet alone around the grocery store); two infant carriers are challenging; separation anxiety is also multiplied instead of doubled since one fusses while you attend to the other. There are also economic challenges since you must have two of many things and can’t reuse what the other has outgrown. Also different ages use up different kinds of energy – with two at the same age you are much more likely to get depleted. It can be fun to get the attention in public but it can also create a nuisance and slow you down when you are in a hurry. Many people say “I hope you have help” but few actually offer it.

April 26, 2007 at 4:07 pm
(23) Monique says:

Twins are definately harder!! And it is more difficult when you have twins plus other children that depend on you. I’m a small woman and trying to tote 2 infant car seats with my 8 mo. babies to the dr. is quite a workout. tandem strollers were too large folded to fit in my standard trunk and the side by side I bought is two wide to fit thru most doorways. Both babies are on their 6th tooth cut so teething since 3 months has not been fun. Nursing both was a major challenge when 99% of the time I was alone since hubby’s in the military. Now one is walking, one crawling so its chase the babies workout for me. I make my own baby food and diapers so my free time when they nap is not free. I am thrilled when I wake up in the morning if I did not have to transfer one of them and myself to another bed when one wakes in the night screaming. Plus all the issues #22 said I also have delt with. Their different personalities also affect everything as it seems the needy one will decide it can be without you at the same time as the content one decides it wants your attention. I can barely do anything without have to have one attached to me. And then you still have the homework and other things your other child needs help with. Double toys, double clothes and no alone time with spouse sometimes makes things even more tiring. But at the same time the little eyes and smiles I get back make all the difficulties and long hours worth all the trouble.

April 28, 2007 at 9:01 pm
(24) Corinne says:

If you’ve not had twins, how can you possible compare? I have 8 children – the twins were a totally unique experience. NOTHING can compare. It’s a totally amazing privilege.

May 1, 2007 at 8:29 pm
(25) christy says:

Raising twins is much harder than singletons…everything is doubled. Nursing, diapers, food, crying…! If you’ve never experienced twins, then don’t compare it.

September 11, 2007 at 11:29 am
(26) Stacey says:

When my third son was six months old I found out that I was pregnant with my twins. They are 13 months apart and I would say that it was and has been the most challenging time in my life. They are now 3 1/2 yrs and 2 1/2 yrs respectivly. It is easier in ways but harder in ways, but I will never regret having this life! It is loud in our house of five boys but it is great because they are my boys!

September 11, 2007 at 4:00 pm
(27) Sue says:

I too have 2 singletons and then twins – all born within 3 years…..and yes there are similarities, BUT definately NOT the same, although people like to think so!!!!

September 11, 2007 at 4:58 pm
(28) LaDonna says:

Having twins and having singletons close in age is NOT the same. I’m not saying that one is harder than the other, but caring for two newborns is different than caring for one newborn and one older baby.

September 13, 2007 at 1:48 pm
(29) cesca says:

I have a set of 9 year olds and we just adopted a set of 3 year olds, I don’t know what it is like to have one at a time. I can say that the bond between the boys is the reason that we wanted to adopt twins and not just one. I remember developing biceps when toting two baby carriers.

October 9, 2007 at 3:16 pm
(30) Bree says:

I have twin boys, and they were almost 13 months old when our youngest was born. Having personal experience with both, I definitely think the twins were/are much harder. Especially the first few weeks home – the sleep deprivation that you experience with twins (or more) is not something you can understand unless you’ve had them yourself!

February 12, 2008 at 3:03 pm
(31) Carisa says:

I find it interesting that people who only have twins say it is nothing like having kids close in age but that parents (like myself) who have both say it is different but has it’s similarities. When people tell me they understand me, I try to use the similarities in the conversation and not point out all the ways they or I have it harder. My older two are a year apart and you do take them to the doctor at the same time, and I did have two in diapers and two on pacifiers. I think it’s easier for twins in some ways because the bad times go away quicker, you aren’t just getting done with teething only to start it all over again. A child at one year old i still a baby and needs a lot of attention so it is alike in many ways. I try not to be bitter about the people who want to feel like they can understand me. It’s people I don’t even know being compasionate towards me. I find that pretty amazing in itself.

February 13, 2008 at 1:44 am
(32) Michelle says:

I have triplets, and a friend of mine has 2 girls 14 months apart, when i watched what she went through, i thought wow, give me twins/triplets any day, now that they are a little older, its getting easier. I only have 1 school drop in the morning, can make the same lunches for all of them (breakfast is more complicated as they all have a choice). Its more difficult in the beginning, but what a bonus when they get older.

July 12, 2008 at 3:30 am
(33) Anita says:

I have a three year old, and twin 15 month olds. Twins are not twice as much work, and once they got to about 10 months old they were easier than one baby because they would keep each other entertained. The real challenge was having a two year old along with the babies. I think a two year old and just one baby would still be more difficult than twins on their own. Every situation has its own challenges…

July 18, 2008 at 1:42 pm
(34) KB, mom of 3 says:

We have several sets of twins in my extended family and I can’t imagine anyone really thinking that having two close in age is THE SAME as twins. How could it be? I have a “just turned 5″ daughter and fraternal 14 mo. old twin boys – and boy are they fraternal!!! I’m so thankful I had my singleton first. At least some idea of how it goes with one newborn helped. However, those first few months were a daily if not hourly challenge. Looking back on their early pictures, it seems like another life-time. It may be “easier” with older twins for the reasons mentioned — always have a play-mate/pal. But, it is never easy having two running in opposite directions! I agree with what others have said about feeling truly blessed to have experienced being a Mom of one and a Mom of twins +1!!!!

September 9, 2008 at 11:08 am
(35) Valerie says:

I have a six year old and 8 month old boy and girl twins. I agree that it is different for everyone. Some may find it hard and some may not. I think the key is to be able to admit that it is not always easy or fun. If it is hard for you it is hard for you. It doesn’t matter that someone else says it was easier for them. I am having a hard time with the twins and the six year old. I found twins much harder than the singlton. Of course, my situation was different with each birth. My husband was home and helped with the first. Not to mention there was only one. With the twins. My husband was gone for the first six months and I had a kindergardner, no family to help and a couple of helpful friends but they had thier own kids. No matter how many kids you have it is hard. But how hard depends on your own situation. It is okay to say you are having a hard time and that this isn’t the happiest time of your life. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your kids and that you don’t think that they are a blessing. It just means that at this moment you are not liking this parent thing and in the next moment you may love it.

September 30, 2008 at 5:31 pm
(36) turtletwins says:

I am sorry but I so disagree with people that say they understand what I am going thru having twins because they have child 13 months apart. Developmentally 13 months is huge when your children are under 5 years old. With twins there is NO age gap. They are the same age no matter what. But all in all children are their own people and it may or may not be easy. Lets just hope it is!!!!

October 1, 2008 at 9:43 am
(37) josy says:

I think having twins and having two children close in age is in some ways similar but not the same.

October 3, 2008 at 9:57 pm
(38) Mary says:

People always tell me that they had two close together so it’s just like they had twins, it’s not at all the same. They weren’t breast feeding two newborns at the same time! I’d say the first three months especially are challenging with two infants : )

October 11, 2008 at 1:21 am
(39) Elizabeth says:

Just the comment that having kids close in age is the same as having twins makes me angry. No offense, but my husband and I both worked full time while trying to raise infant twins. Did I mention that they were our first kids? At least with two close in age you get to learn on the first and are a litle wiser on the second. Not so with 2 at a time! I also got some horrible advise to sleep when the babies sleep, but with twins, they NEVER sleep at the same time!

October 14, 2008 at 10:45 am
(40) Janeane says:

I am the mother of 2 sets of twins all girls and 3 years almost to the day apart. I have never had a single birth but i will tell you i am always told that is much harder to have them 1year and 1/2 apart. I think people forget i have 4. I think that raising children is very difficult period. I also think that people should not compare our situations, each one is unique and different. I really dont know why people tell me that all the time I would never say to a mother of two small children that I have it harder.

October 16, 2008 at 4:23 pm
(41) Jill says:

I have 2 adopted children that I picked up from the hospital 2 days apart. I call them twins because to me even though they are 2 days apart in age it is like raising twins in every aspect. The differance was when they were born the adoptions were not yet final so I got no time off from work. Trying to work 10 hour days & be up with both babies every 2 hours was rough. They are now 4 and they have always shared a room and are very, very close.

October 17, 2008 at 2:20 am
(42) Lisa says:

I have three children; 9 year old, 7 year old and 10 months old and I am pregnant with twins that will be here well before my youngest reaches 1 in a half. I am scared!!! Why do us mothers have to go into who is more challenged??? We all work hard and no situations should be compared just shared. I am sharing my fear of what is to come but also how elated I am and how truly blessed I feel for what I’ve been dealt in this life time.

November 6, 2008 at 11:17 am
(43) GoingTwinsane says:

I had my 1st set of twins at age 18. My second set made their debut just after my 22nd birthday. My sisters had singletons around the same time. There is no comparison.

People who’ve never had twins have no idea what it’s like. In the first couple months, twin parents are very lucky to get more than 45 consecutive minutes of sleep. When one baby wakes to eat and change, the second is not far behind! If you happen to have a sick baby (like I did) then it is even more difficult.

My twins are now 9 and 12. They are sleeping all night and toileting themselves (THANK GOD) but they can still be very difficult…puberty x2, licenses x2, prom x2, graduation x2, college x2…everything is doubled.

Contrary to popular myth, twins do not have built in playmates. They don’t automatically share or take turns. They aren’t instant best friends. They behave just like all other children only they have a constant competitor.

Potty training x2 is an adventure. Twins will help each other undress, two together CAN get the diaper genie open and wear the soiled diapers as hats and fingerpaint on the walls and themselves (TRUST ME ON THIS!).

Granted siblings born close in age can do the same, however you don’t have two children going through the same stages at the same times…terrible two’s anyone?

November 13, 2008 at 4:21 pm
(44) mason says:

Well, my sister and me(or I. cant remeber which) are born 10 years apart, and have our birthdays on the same day. But I disagree because over 10 years, parents can, and most of the time will, change in many ways which changes the children and their simularity

March 30, 2009 at 12:39 pm
(45) calandra says:

Yes, IT IS THE SAME THING. MY SISTER AND I WERE BORN IN THE SAME MONTH 13 MONTHS APART. HERE BIRTHDAY IS JULY 29 1972 AND MINE IS JULY 26, 1971. AND WE HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT SINCE I NOTICED IT AT THE AGE OF 20 21. I DONT KNOW WHY IT IS BUT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH COUNSELING FOR HER WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ALWAYS LACKING WITH LACK OF ATTENTION. WHAT IS GOING ON

March 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm
(46) CALANDRA says:

oh yes and we look like twins very much one is just taller than the other

October 1, 2009 at 11:00 pm
(47) Mrs.K says:

No it is not the same at all.
I actually have two sets of twins who are nine months to the date apart. My first set (a boy and girl) were born July 29. My second set (two girls) were born April 29. For about 3 months of every year they are the same age.

March 2, 2010 at 2:57 pm
(48) Robyn says:

My first two are 13 months apart and then 27 months after my second came twins. Twins are much different and harder than having two close in age.

March 2, 2010 at 3:35 pm
(49) Robin says:

I had my first daughter then 20 months later came my twins.
I have heard people say that it must be like having triplets and it is not. Kinda close in age is all it is. I have friends that have had singletons close in age and they say that its like having twins. Makes me laugh. I totally don’t think so at all. Twins are born at the same time, doing milestones and things almost simultaniously as eachother.

March 2, 2010 at 10:19 pm
(50) Mrs. G says:

I have newborn twins and my mother has been helping me care for them. My brother and I are 14 mos apart and my mom swears that raising us was nothing like caring for her granddaughters and that the two newborns are much harder than it was for her having a newborn and toddler.

March 8, 2010 at 2:21 am
(51) aimee says:

My mum had 4 children and me and my bro and my sister and we all were like the same height and looked smiler and would allways get mistaken for triplets or twins even tho their was a year apart between each of us :)

March 9, 2010 at 7:56 am
(52) Debbie Buckingham says:

I have five kids. The first one, my only son, was 5 when I had my first daughter. 15 months later, I had my second daughter. 15 years later, I had my twins. The twins have been an absolute joy with my other kids being older BUT – they are not the same. They both demand attention and require time in a fashion that just not the same when they are a few months apart. The advantages are definitely for those babies with a few months in between. I would not change it for the world though!

March 9, 2010 at 9:01 am
(53) Amy says:

Ditto everything twinmom (#22) said! Unless your first child did not grow or develop AT ALL between birth and when the second child is born, then of course they’re not the same! ;) I think each situation has its advantages and disadvantages. In some ways it’s nice to have them on the same schedule, playing with similar toys, etc. BUT I would say that no stage with two of different ages could be harder than dealing with the challenges and sleep-deprivation of newborn twins! My boys are 14 months old right now, and I would take one of them plus a newborn over two newborns ANY day!

March 9, 2010 at 11:26 am
(54) mari parker says:

NO,IT IS NOT THE SAME AND I DO HEAR IT ALL THE TIME, FROM MY MOM AND FRIENDS AND THEY HAVE NO CLUE,AND I’M A SINGLE MOM,SO THEY REALLY HAVE NO CLUE!!!! I WISH THEY COULD JUST SPEND ABOUT 3 DAYS WITH THEM AND THEN MAYBE THEY WOULD SEE!!!

March 11, 2010 at 11:29 am
(55) Amber Boone says:

Having a set of twins and another child that is exactly 12 months younger I can say that there are some similarities. I often times feel that I have triplets, however the younger years are not at all the same. Trying to bottle feed two children, getting up at night with two children, diapering two children, and potty training two children is MUCH harder than doing this one year apart. However once they are older (say three or four) it does start seeming like they are triplets not twins and a single birth.

March 11, 2010 at 11:53 am
(56) Amber says:

Pregnancy with twins is much more difficult than a single birth pregnancy. Also over half of twins are born early which presents a whole new set of challenges. This being said, every child is different. I know many mothers of multiples (twins, triplets, and quads). Every parents situationa nd the disposition/health of their child makes things different. Having two passive quite twins is easier than an extremely colicky child. Raising one child on your own while trying to work full time can be harder than having twins with a support group to help you. Having twins is not the same as having single births, but lets not fight over whats harder. Every parent, child, and situation is different.
I have twins and a child that is twelve months younger. I also have a brother with a set of twins and one that is twelve months older. I have a sister who has two children 10 months apart. I have a cousin with quads. It’s all different. They are all harder at different times. My hardest time was when the twins were 9 months old and I was pregnant with no energy and kids that needed me. It’s not a compitition. ALL parents need support and understanding. When people say they know how I feel, I believe that they are trying to understand what it is like and offer support, or to validate how they feel. What I’m saying is just be understanding and don’t turn parenting into a compitition.

May 6, 2010 at 2:46 pm
(57) Nina says:

I hear this all the time! I completely agree with Amber who said this is not a competition. I have a family member who tells everyone they practically have twins…it seems as if she thinks it’s a competition. I don’t take anything away from her, I am sure having children close in age has its disadvantages. As mothers why don’t we support each other instead of compete to see who had/has it the hardest?

May 9, 2010 at 5:44 am
(58) Damon Perucich says:

We had twins girls as our first, and I have had people say “Oh, I had mine 18 months apart and it was like having twins”. Stop right there. No it isn’t and anyone who thinks that is just plain ignorant. Twins develop at the same time and more importantly they TEETH at the same time, which is a VERY difficult time.
TWINS ARE NOT THE SAME OR EVEN SIMILAR TO HAVING CHILDREN 12 – 18 MONTHS APART. TWINS ARE MUCH HARDER TO HANDLE AND ANYONE THAT COMPARES THEIR 2 CHILDREN THAT ARE OF DIFFERENT AGES TO TWINS IS A FOOL. IF YOU GAVE THESE PEOPLE ACTUAL TWINS, MOST OF THEM WOULD EITHER BREAK DOWN OR HAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP DESTROYED. ANYONE CAN HANDLE 2 KIDS OF SEPARATE AGE. HELL I COULD DO 2 OF SEPARATE AGE WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK (LITERALLY)!!! TWINS ARE INTENSE.

May 11, 2010 at 8:27 am
(59) Rebecca says:

Well having 2 sets of twins and no singletons, I can’t compare but I would have to say NO. Caring for the the same age same @ the same stage must be more difficult.

July 16, 2010 at 2:59 pm
(60) Sherry says:

Having twins is in now way the same to having two children close to the same age. I’m tired of people in the store telling me that they know what it’s like because their children were 15 months apart.

August 13, 2010 at 1:37 am
(61) Kan says:

Just a simply query to all. Can you help me finding a simply answer to this question, “who is elder amongst the twin, the one who first comes out or the later one?”

October 2, 2010 at 1:21 am
(62) domnavenalis says:

I found this thread after searching for information regarding the raising of babies exactly one year apart. It doesn’t quite apply, but was useful none the less.

I must say however, I am quite surprised at how many people here get angry over comparisons that they don’t agree with. I assume primarily because they too place too much importance on the comparisons?

If you have formulated an opinion, it’s based upon your own personal experiences. (Be that from your own children or a glimpse into the life of another parent’s.) Just because you experience it one way doesn’t mean that everyone else comes from the same mold.

Single parents, married parents, financially secure or broke, supportive families & friends, singletons or multiple births… Even if you come from a similar situation as someone else, you still do not come from the same situation. Everyone’s challenges are different.

As for #58, I find your statement that “anyone” can raise a singleton rather odd & uninformed. Not everyone is able.

I personally am 25 & have 3 grown stepchildren (ages 25, 23, & 21). The 21 year old has a 7 month old.

At 17 I experienced a pregnancy that left me with pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, a displaced hip & ultimately, renal failure. As a result of the renal failure, that little boy was born nearly 6 weeks early. He was adopted at 6 months (open adoption) & at age 3 was diagnosed with autism.

My husband on the other hand is 45. We now have a teething 4 month old (pregnancy nearly identical to my first, minus the renal failure), & are currently pregnant again. The newest addition is due on the 4 month old’s 1st birthday.

I am bipolar, & my moods do not fair well without medication. Medications that I cannot take while pregnant as they pose serious risks in the 1st & 3rd trimester.

Me personally, am truly not looking forward to the third trimester of this pregnancy while caring for a 9-12 month old (if this pregnancy is anything like my previous.) Of all the things I could look forward to the most during postpartum, the ability to restart treatment is the highest on the list.

Now, all of that said, I do not feel sorry for my situation, nor do I feel I have it better or worse than anyone else. We all struggle, in our own ways. I would hope that as mature(?) adults we would be trying to support one another rather than trying to tear each other down because of a different point of view/situation.

I hope everyone is doing the best they can with what they have, & please give your children a hug from all of us. They, after all, are the reason this thread exists! =D

October 5, 2010 at 10:07 pm
(63) jamie says:

i was just wondering to about if they are called some kind of twin my daughter is 13 months and my son is 4 months its alittle rough right now with the babys and a 5 year old and working fulltime. but it is all worth the stress there all so buetiful

October 17, 2010 at 10:07 pm
(64) Reader says:

Hear, hear, domnavenalis #62. I also wondered why there was so much anger!

Amber #56 and Carisa #31 “I try not to be bitter about the people who want to feel like they can understand me. Itís people I donít even know being compasionate towards me. I find that pretty amazing in itself” have the right idea.

October 19, 2010 at 9:11 am
(65) Karen says:

I had my boys 11 months apart and then 13 years later identical twin girls. I think having 11 months apart is more difficult as while the one is crawling the other is riding over him in the walking ring. Also while breastfeeding the younger one you have the older one running amok !! Twins do things together mostly and as long as they sleep at the same time (which my boys did not) it is easier – being an older mom with my twins suppose also helped ?

October 20, 2010 at 9:40 pm
(66) Mariangela says:

MY MOM HAD TWO SETS OF TWINS 16 MONTHS APART AND SHE CAN TELL YOU IT IS EQUALLY HAS HARD!!!!! I am one of the twins and I have two kids 13 months apart and just when you have one sleeping through the night and off the boob, you have another one and you have to start all over again…atleast the second time around you know what to expect and it is alot easier:) Siblings and twins are great because the siblings will always grow up together :)

March 4, 2011 at 1:46 am
(67) Allison says:

I have to just say something……I had 6 children in 6 years. Yes….one a year. The furthest apart is 13 months….closest 11mo. No twins…..though i am always asked if they are. My first two were hard when my oldest at 25 pounds was not walking at 11 months and i had to carry a newborn areound jn a carrier along with this huge almost one year old….then thw following year have a new born….a 12mo old and a 23 month old. Lets just say walking into walmart was ridiculous. If there weren’t carts nearby in the parking lot…i just kept driving because there was NO way I could get them all into the store. It was difficult in its own right. I dont know what it would be like having twins but as they get older I CAN tell you its very hard to do things when ALL the kids are at different developmental levels then it would be if they were at the same……just something to ponder on……

April 26, 2011 at 12:37 pm
(68) Connie says:

When my twins were born, my daughter was 14months old. From the beginning, my twins were opposite each other; and everytime I finally thought I would have a moment of peace, that’s when the older one started in. In addition to that, the 14 month old dis everything in her power to try to eliminate them completely. Even now at 2.8 hrs and twins at 19 months, she is still 10 times harder than the twins ever were. Like what was mentioned in the article, there are still 2 reaching for the hor stove, pulling out the safety plugs from the outlets, unlocking dead bolts, etc. But on really lucky days, their older sister teaches them how to do all that and so much more! Everyone’s opinion is unique to their own situation, but having twins is NOT the same as having 2 close in age.

April 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm
(69) Erica says:

.

I have been babysitting my neighbors son that is a month older than my daughter since they were born and we both have 3 other children. So I have the 6 of them for weeks at a time sometimes. Alot of the time the 2 year olds really do feel like twins, granted when they were younger she was a lot more advanced than he was, but he was younger. They have a much more intense relationship than all the other kids combined. Even though our oldest and middle kids are year apart. They are very seldom separated by more than a finger width and are usually holding hands and doing everything together. They were always the same size, did everything at the same time, my day is pretty much an assembly line of hugs, diapers, food prep, diapers, baths, clothes, hugs, naps, rinse and repeat… I just found out I am having my own twins and I am hoping that these guys have prepped me for that experience!

August 19, 2011 at 6:35 pm
(70) erica says:

I don’t have twins, so I don’t know for sure, but I sometimes wonder if twins might be easier than having 3 in 3 1/2 years. The challenge with close together is trying to entertain an enrich the pr-schooler’s brain, while trying to keep the toddler safe from his own curiosity while cuddling, feeding and nurturing the newborn. I often wonder if it would be easier with 3 on the same level so that I do 1to age-appropriate activity rather than the 3challenge ring circus of all different levels- all of which depend on me.

December 29, 2011 at 12:34 am
(71) Ashley says:

I have 2 babies 9 months apart. They are the same age for two months. I got pregnant one week after I had my first daughter. They aren’t genetically twins in the womb at the same time; however the womb never completely healed and they fall in the same school year. I was pregnant for 18 full months straight (NOT EASY). They are considered “Irish twins” (babies born within the same year who remain the same age for 2 months.

February 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm
(72) Holly says:

I know this isn’t really an answer to the question. But as a twin myself, I can also say that it is not similar for twins or the children born close together themselves. In a twin situation, we had to share a room, share friends, share the same teachers, same lessons (Where some teachers even sat their classes in alphabetical order-so we had to sit together!) and have to share our birthday (Although I don’t mind that, as I know no different, and its not that much of a big deal!) Experiences are shared and the praise you get from your parents is halved. A singleton goes through milestones at different times, even if close together. However, parenting is difficult no matter how many you have! So enjoy what you have, not everyone can have the gift of a child.

March 2, 2012 at 11:26 am
(73) nicole says:

I’m not part of the exclusive twin club, I speak on behalf of kids close in age. My boys are 14 months apart. Parents of twins think about this. You carry both at the same time, give birth at the same time and they develop around the same time. I got pregnant when my first son was 5 months old. I had the take care of a baby while dealing with morning sickness, fatigue and working full time. Then you give birth and bring home a new born and you already have a baby to take care of. Both in diapers, both need feedings, and naps which never occur together. Yes you had 2 infant seats. I carried one infant seat and juggled a 20 some pound toddler in my other arm. My first son was so jealous of the new baby, so I was always on high alert to stop him from hitting him. Now they are best friends but it took years to reach that. I’m not saying either one is harder. I’m just saying be a little more open minded, and don’t get angry when some one with singles born close says it was hard because it was.

March 5, 2012 at 3:18 am
(74) kida says:

I have both 2 sons born 9.5 mos apart nov 6,2001 and aug 29,2002 and twin girls march 30 2010 (fraternal girls) in fact my sons look more like the twins lol (cant say less or more easy just different

July 19, 2012 at 2:20 am
(75) janet gilbert says:

I had girls just over 2yrs apart, then identical twin boys 2 yrs later, a boy 2 yrs later, & a girl 2 years later. My oldest daughter has two sets of twins just over 2 years apart. Having twins is so very different than having singletons. The rest of my kids are all hoping for singletons ;)

January 19, 2013 at 2:58 pm
(76) erin says:

I have two blessings that are both 2! Oh how my friends do NOT understand. Except for my BFF, she watched them and told me she completely underestimated twins. She has 3 children, so I believe her!

April 27, 2013 at 11:06 am
(77) Karimah says:

Not only is it not the same at all, in my opinion its MUCH tougher having twins for far more reasons then I have the time to even begin explaining. but just to name a few which most of involves the obvious point of twins being at the exact same age more than often having to go through the same milestones at the same time e.g teething, terrible twos, vaccinations after effects/care… & dealing with potty training, just to name a few. I mean not even to mention the simple task of changing nappies when both at the same curious age yet not old enough to be explained to that you dont touch or eat the poo (for example, luckily enough for me it didnt get to that point) but i mean imagine everyday when your trying to change one already squirmy-aged baby, trying to pull off their own nappy when the other one is tryng to join in and your juggling with stoping either of them getting into that poo, then once the nappies off you know you cant just put it down cause one of them will be at it within the next few seconds. I mean Im not saying that example doesnt happen to parents who have babies of close age but its much less likely expecialy the widen the gap, even if only by afew weeks/months (weeks months even is a huge difference when it comes to babies/toddlers). Anywyay I could go on to prove my point but I wont if necessary, but basically people should think before they just come out with this statement mainly to parents of twins cause i think you’ll find most will find it highly annoying simple because its just not true. Im glad to see this poll seems to agree :)

January 28, 2014 at 4:58 am
(78) TimHanse says:

Hi there, does anyone have any ideas about the easiest method to get their infant to sleep through?

I have read quite a few websites with ideas but I am still struggling.

Thanks you

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