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Readers Respond: At What Age Or Stage Does Parenting Twins Get Easier?

Responses: 149

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Updated July 29, 2009

From the article: When Does It Get Easier?
Parents of infant twins often feel overwhelmed. The seemingly endless cycle of sleepless nights followed by long days providing care to two needy babies can produce feelings of hopelessness and frustration. They may wonder, "When does it get easier?" Or they may look toward a day in the future, seeking a timeline for when having multiples will feel more manageable. Share your thoughts about when it gets easier to parent twins, and offer hope and encouragement to new parents. Share Your Thoughts

Twins

I just want to offer a little encouragement to other twin parents out there. I have twin girls that are 14 months old. And we're expecting another set of twin girls in 4 months. Raising children is hard, yes and some days are better than others, but I can honestly say I am looking forward to having another set of twins. I feel incredibly blessed. I am a stay at home mom and I really feel like it helps or situation. Our girls can expect the same thing everyday and I really believe that it helps them to relax and enjoy their surroundings. They're starting to independently play which is such a treat. I reccommend routine/consistency and keeping a simple home and lifestyle. Nothing is "off limits" for our girl. That means we have to be hands on and teach our girls not to play in the trash, not to tear pages of their books, not to carry the potty chair into the living room, etc. These are things we work on daily, but man when they learn these things it makes life so much easier.
—Guest Rachel

It gets easy, hard, easy, hard......

My twins are identical boys, 7 years old. Today I am sitting in my car crying and laughing reading this blog after googling " my 7 year old twins are driving me crazy.... Being babies it was hard but all babies are a lot of work.... Toddlers was adorable and exhausting.... 7 is ..... Well it's frustrating, exhausting, crazy, rewarding... Truly the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me;) or :(!!! Lol
—Guest Carla

When? How? Help!

I don't know where to start or what to say. Our household: 10 y b, 8 y g, identical twin girls- 3 y. I am a fireman (gone at least 24 hours at a time) My girls have a sensory processing disorder and are being considered for an autism diagnosis. Will start a preschool in August. They are speaking now but behind in their language skills and learn by echolalia (repeating exactly what is said to them.) They will completely melt down over the littlest things such as the blanket not laying on the floor exactly how they think it should. The screams are ear piercing and almost non-stop. My wife is a stay at home mom and calls me daily in tears because it seems that nothing makes my girls happy, ever. We live in a great neighborhood, nice home with plenty for them to do and play with. We do activities, play time, meals, everything together. It's just so hard because they never seem happy. I've read the thread here and it seems everyone is hanving the same problem but no one has any ideas? Help
—Guest Help

someone please help!!!

Hi my name is tyhesha. I have identical twin girls who are 7 years old and a 4 yr old son who drive me nuts. At times I feel like there's no hope for me; one minute I'm happy and the next pulling my hair out in tears. They constantly fight over everything and if that's not enough they pick with their brother and are always making me feel bad that I can't give them things that their cousin has because she's an only child. They do keep each other entertained for long periods of time but with that comes messes and fights. I'm just tired of the talking back, yelling, crying and flat out disrespect I get from them. I love my babies with all in me and wouldn't trade them for the world but I too need to feel appriciated...idk what to do. I'm 26yrs old, live far away from family to help babysitt for a break. What can I do to just get some kind of peace I'm lost.....
—Guest Tyhesha coles

33 month twin boys

Hi I have twin boys 33 month old and I dread each day as I know they are going to be fighting and killing each other I feel like in live in a. Crèche it's so noisy!! There is 13 month between them and younger brother and it's hell when all are together, I have a 9 yr and 14 yr old to so very busy house, twins will not sleep through night and are still in nappies. They will however go on potty but when they have pants on they just pee through them straight away. I'm totally losing battle with them and I'm extremely exhausted and suffer with bad migraines, I recently give birth 6 weeks ago to my gorgeous surro baby and boys are up more then what she is, being a twin mummy is the hardest thing ever compared to singletons? Please tell me it gets better I live in hope :-)
—Guest Joanne

Mom of four!!

I have identical twin boys age 2, a 5 year old boy and a 7 month old baby boy. Yes my house is total Manheim everyday!!! A lot times I find myself overwhelmed and walking like a zombie. I to sometimes lock myself in my room to just get a breather and shed a couple of tears. I am very grateful for my boys and wouldn't trade them for the world. I am married but my husband workes all day and night, including every other weekend. I'm glad I found this post. I pray that things get better for you mommies. Take care God bless!
—Guest ANB

my almost 2 year old boys

OK so I have fraternal boys. One is very calm and tranquil and he eats very slow. everything he does is very slow, but my other son is not. He's very active and getting into everything. He eats so much and as well takes his sisters' food. She is almost 4 and he also takes his brother's. I don't know how to deal with them. At times they're funny and good and other times fighting and going wild. My boy who eats a lot doesn't sleep a lot during the night. He wakes up wanting to have a bottle and my tranquil boy always wants to be held or for me to do everything for him. But he sleeps very well. I never thought it would be so much work. I am a single mother and I am trying to do my best. I want to teach my boys to go potty but not sure how to. My daughter is pottied trained. It's nice to know I am not the only one who's dealing with this. It's nice to have support.
—Guest tiffany

Still waiting, living in hope!!

My girls are 17 months and still really difficult! I found the first year not too bad despite sleep deprivation as they were really chilled out babies BUT as soon as they turned one that all changed!! It's 90% torture 10% enjoyment. They are so moany all the time, constantly fighting over the same toy, always wanting to be held at the same time but not with the other, refusing meals I've made, and just generally unpleasant! I'm worn out. They can walk but choose not to which makes it even harder going out to the park etc as they just start crawling in the dirt. I heard from many that the extreme crankiness gradually subsides after 18 months so I do live in hope!
—Guest Ash

1yr old twin boys

My twin boys turned 1 yesterday. They are my first and only children. I found the first few months went quickly, and I coped well, while my husband struggled. Most of you found it became easier at 6 months... whereas this is when my struggle began. When they started rolling, moving, sitting, etc. ,they became very demanding and I felt very lonely, as if between 3 and 10 months people forgot I was a person. Friends and family wouldn't visit or would be too busy to meet. At 10 months they began to crawl and as they become more independent, I'm finding it much easier again. Now, I cantt wait for them to walk, as i suffer with chronic back pain. At under 5ft and my boys weighing 12kg Each, it's a struggle to carry them. I feel blessed and have enjoyed this last year and look forward to the rest. Top tip: stay positive and give yourself a little "me time."
—Guest michelle24

CALM DOWN MOMMAS:)

As a mom of 12 yr old twins, been there and done it. I hear all of you loud and clear. I know exactly what you are going through as I suffered the exhaustion, stress & depression. It does get easier as soon as your child can communicate and speak, so you can talk to them. Its never going to be 100% easy as each year its something else. Cherish the time they are infants as it really goes so quickly and you will never have this time again, even though I know you are saying you don't care, trust me you will. That being said you are all blessed with wonderful healthy children, there are so many women that would trade with you who cannot have children. I know it's not what you want to hear right now, but it's the truth and looking back, I realize how blessed I am to have 2 healthy babies at one time. Just remember time does not stop … there is light at the end of the tunnel, just grin and bear it & try to enjoy this time as much as possible because its only for a short time...hang in there!!
—forletta

thought it was just me...

My boy/girl twins just turned 2.5. I am so grateful to all of you for saying exactly what is going on in my crazy house! I have tried EVERYTHING! My kids are wonderful but can destroy the house in seconds! My daughter gets up every night (at least 3 times) for hugs. My son won't stop hitting or pushing my daughter! They tag teamed a little girl at an indoor playground! We had to leave! Both give me a wrestling match when i try to change their diapers or get them dressed to go out! It can take me two hours to get out the door! I am so exhausted and overwhelmed. I too am too tired to have a breakdown! Loved that post! Thank you! I adore my babies but wish it wasn't soooo hard! I feel i am not giving them what they need or deserve. I hope it gets easier too! Thanks everyone
—Guest diana

13 months old twin boys

I am a single mom of 13months old identical twin boys they r my only children and I feel like I am raising am army. I am just praying for the strength to cope cause it seem as if it will get worst before it gets any better.
—Guest stephanie

Twins

My twins are one years old (boy/girl). The first year was the hardest with our twins. They were very sickly babies so sleep was not good for them or me. They have slept through from 5 months. It took a while for them to do so, but once they were on solids they did. But now my daughter has stopped sleeping through again; I'm not sure why. I'm thinking teeth, maybe She hasn't got any yet. I think taking them out to places is definitely a must; it's great for them. They are so engaged that they don't need me, which is great :) I have a very helpful and wonderful husband who tries his best to help but he's at uni and full time work so he's exhausted as it is. I think it gets easier. It's got to be easier than newborn, for us anyway.
—Guest Exhausted but blessed

65 yrs old and helping with twins

I am helping my granddaughter with her 3 yr old twin boys. They are wonderful BUT oh my. They potty trained in 2 weeks. They have not wet the bed. We gave them 1 M&M for peeing and 2 for poo. They can say ABC AND COUNT TO 25 BUT they can destroy the house. Spill food and drink in just seconds. They talk back yell scream and bring you to your knees. At the end of the day i get hugs and kisses. This is the hardest thing i have ever done. It will get easier. I am banking on it. Pick and choose your battles. All of this chaos will produce strong independent adults.
—Guest cathy adams

Thank you!

Thank you so much! I thought I was loosing my mind... But nope it seems in here that having twin boys 2.5 yrs and their behavior is normal!
—Guest Corky

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At What Age Or Stage Does Parenting Twins Get Easier?

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