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Readers Respond: At What Age Or Stage Does Parenting Twins Get Easier?

Responses: 74

By

Updated July 29, 2009

From the article: When Does It Get Easier?
Parents of infant twins often feel overwhelmed. The seemingly endless cycle of sleepless nights followed by long days providing care to two needy babies can produce feelings of hopelessness and frustration. They may wonder, "When does it get easier?" Or they may look toward a day in the future, seeking a timeline for when having multiples will feel more manageable. Share your thoughts about when it gets easier to parent twins, and offer hope and encouragement to new parents.

Twins

I just want to offer a little encouragement to other twin parents out there. I have twin girls that are 14 months old. And we're expecting another set of twin girls in 4 months. Raising children is hard, yes and some days are better than others, but I can honestly say I am looking forward to having another set of twins. I feel incredibly blessed. I am a stay at home mom and I really feel like it helps or situation. Our girls can expect the same thing everyday and I really believe that it helps them to relax and enjoy their surroundings. They're starting to independently play which is such a treat. I reccommend routine/consistency and keeping a simple home and lifestyle. Nothing is "off limits" for our girl. That means we have to be hands on and teach our girls not to play in the trash, not to tear pages of their books, not to carry the potty chair into the living room, etc. These are things we work on daily, but man when they learn these things it makes life so much easier.
—Guest Rachel

It gets easy, hard, easy, hard......

My twins are identical boys, 7 years old. Today I am sitting in my car crying and laughing reading this blog after googling " my 7 year old twins are driving me crazy.... Being babies it was hard but all babies are a lot of work.... Toddlers was adorable and exhausting.... 7 is ..... Well it's frustrating, exhausting, crazy, rewarding... Truly the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me;) or :(!!! Lol
—Guest Carla

Twins are life changing!

I have 2 year old twin boys and a 9 year old daughter. When my daughter was born she was easy going, always happy and she started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks old. So, when I became pregnant with twins I felt somewhat nervous, but for the most part confident that everything would be fine considering the only experience I had to refer to was my daughter....well lets just say I couldn't have been more wrong!! They were born at 33 weeks, they didn't sleep through the night until 15 months old and they are 100 times needier and more demanding then my daughter ever was. The first year is a complete blurr! Once they started sleeping through the night I definintly felt some relief, but that relief didn't last long, because within a few weeks they were walking around and getting into everything! I can't leave my house,they are attached to my hip and want my attention constantly! I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I wouldn't change it for the world
—Guest Lindsay

my twin boys

I have two twin boys and boy is it hard. But I went through a very hard labor with them i was in the hospital a month before i had them. I am very lucky to have them in my life. It is very hard but i just take it day by day. The will be three months on the seventh and i do wonder sometimes does it get easier? Between feeding every three hours and medication and one of my children are on a heart monitor,I look into their eyes and i would not trade my schedule for the world,It takes very strong willed individuals to take on this task.. I love them with all my heart and i would not ever change it for the world!
—Guest bryantbabe

DONT GIVE UP

IT IS VERY HARD WHEN THEY ARE INFANTS, NO SLEEP LOTS OF STRESS, CRYING, UNSURE IF YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THINGS CONSTANTLY, WORRYING IF BEING THIS STRESSED OUT IS A CRIME, IT ISNT, IT IS NORMAL FOR A MOM TO BE STREESED OUT AND WANT TO PULL YOUR HAIR OUT SOMETIMES LOL. THEY START TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT WHEN THEY DO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A SCHEDUAL DONT BE AFRAID TO KEEP THEM UP MORE SO DURING THE DAY SO YOU CAN BE HEALTHY ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF THEM THEY WILL CATCH UP ALOT AT NIGHT AND YOU AND BABIES WILL BE HAPPY. BE VERY PATIENT WITH YOURSELF AND BABIES ALL THE NO SLEEPING WILL GET BETTER!
—Guest TAMARA

you wanna know when its gonna be easier?

when they move out of the house. no matter what you do they will Lie they will make trouble and they will fight. i know this because i'm a Twin
—Guest kid master

Bliss

My "baby" girls turned three yesterday, and we also have a four and a half year old son. The first two and a half yrs with the girls were very tricky, but even on the worst days I would look at all of my children and feel so incredibly grateful. The craziness lessens with time, the love only gets bigger.
—Guest Kylie

It's just soooo hard

I have 7 month old twin boys and a 3 yr old boy,im goin crazy im so tired and jusy overwhelmed.not matter what anyone says having twins changes your life completely.I never have time for myself.i can never really enjoy spending time with my 3 yr old.I just pray it gets easier for me.
—Guest Tutiii

Ain't No Joke

Being a father of 2 mo old b/g twins, I can say this is the most tired I've ever been. I'm not sure how my wife does it, staying home with the twins 24/7. I get up to go to work and look forward to my 9 hour "break". After work, I do look forward to seeing their cute little faces, and when they smile it just melts your heart....but at the same time I know its going to be non stop feeding, diaper changes, burping, bottle cleaning, formula mixing, baby laundry..etc etc. I must admit, i no longer look forward to weekends as I use to do. I know they say its a life changing event to have kids, but wow!, twins will turn your life upside down. I just look forward to the day when sleeping more than 2 hours at a time is possible and enjoying a meal without having to rush. Yes I love my kids...they are so cute and precious, and do make me smile throughout the day. I really wish it would get easier soon, so I can perhaps enjoy just being with them and not worry if they've burped
—Guest bt2

Yeah. Right.

I have joint custody of my ex of our daughter (9) and our twin boys that just turned 4. I don't know what you are all talking about. The first year seemed easy. But now that are a compete and total nightmare. My daughter is a perfect kid. Polite and respectful. Virtuous and kind. The twins are assholes. I don't know how else to put it. They are either constantly trying to kill themselves or each other. They destroy EVERYTHING they touch. They are the reason I can't have nice things. I am a loving but strict parent. And I give them a verbal warning when they are crossing a line and they just give me this stupid face and laugh. It has come down to when I have the kids 95% of the time is spent giving time outs or lecturing them on proper behavior and I have no quality time with my daughter. Not to mention I have zero dating life. If I could stroke a pen and never see them again I would. They are the worst thing that has ever happened to my family. I hate myself for saying it. But it'true
—Guest Angry dad.

doulble trouble

i found the first 3 months ok as they were early all they did was sleep i just feed them on sched. i have b/g twins the girl had colic that lasted months and generally cried all the time.they both slept thru from 4m.then at 9m my son started waking up almost every night.then around 18ms they switched over my daughter was a calm toddler and my son was having constant tantrums and generally controllin. now almost 3yrs old it has defo got easier.they can talk better so not as many tantrums they play lovely alot more tho sharin is still an issue.my son sleeps all night long now which is a god send.h is still very domanont over his sister. but we have alot more fun
—Guest jj

Waiting for that day!

I have 3 month old b/g twins and a 6 year old and when I had my twins my husband who is in the military was deployed and still is to this day. I am sooooo exhausted and soooo tired. I have no help as far as night time feedings and my mom helps me during the day. My husband will not be back until they are 6 months old. I pray everyday when will it be better because twin boys are so much needier than baby girl. I'm so physically, emotionally drained. I feel I have neglected my 6 year old. I know it won't be so bad if my husband was home to help me, but he is serving his country. My twins were colicky, had ear infections, thrush from the antibiotics that was given to them in the NICU. Just a mess. I am burnt out and just waiting for the day that I can fully enjoy them and when my husband can return home.
—Guest MS

twins n easy in the same sentance?

u have to really ask ur self if it really ever gets easier or if u just learn to manage things better. I am a mother of 4 kids, oldest 6, then 3, n my 1 yr old twins. i love all of my childeren with every inch of my heart and soul. twins or no twins i feel like things never get easier we just get wiser, faster, n just learn to deal with the little things that we use to b grossed out with. ya sure as they get older u find urself not having to do as much, like they can hold there own bottle... thats always great it gives u time to wash the dishes.... but u lose the time u gained washing dishes looking for the bottle when they r done because it some how fell on the floor n got kicked under the couch. i would have to say i spend a good chunck of my time looking for bottles just like i would that one sock that always seems to disappear. With age n independent u solve one problem n another one comes with it. twins just mean double the joy n double the trouble i wouldnt call that easier
—crap_what_next

You will survive...

I just stumbled upon this page by accident. I can tell you all that you will survive! I have 24 yr old mirror image twin boys. I can honestly say it doesn't get easier, it gets better. What one didn't think of, the other one would and still does! But, the bond they share is priceless. They always find a way to be together on their birthday, No matter where they are. One day, about 9 yrs ago, they were fighting so bad, I had to separate them with a broom. I asked them why they just didn't separate for a bit and regroup, one of them looked at me and said" we can't mom, you just don't understand, we are one" my heart just wanted to break. But I know how much they love each other and through the years they have separated, but always find a way back to each other!
—Guest Anne

Hope these hopeless days end soon

I have two month old twin girls and am struggling. I am so blessed to have these babies, but am equally as burdened. I keep hearing people refer to the first three months as their dark days and boy I couldn't agree more! Nothing could have prepared me for this. Our girls are going through a growth spurt right now and I'm getting 45 minute chunks of sleep because they're eating every two hours and it takes an hour to feed. Pray for me!
—Guest Jenny

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