There are certain circumstances where being a parent of twins can get tricky. One of these is Open House or Parent’s Night at school, a chance to visit your child’s school, sit in on classes and meet teachers. Open House is usually held right before the first day of school, or in the first month after school starts. It may include the students, or it may be attended only by parents. Many Open House events are held in the evening to accommodate working parents and may include a PTA meeting, address from administration, or other program. Others are classroom visits during the school day. For parents of middle school and high school students, Open House (sometimes referred to as Parent’s Night) may provide an opportunity for them to follow their child’s schedule to gain an understanding of a typical day.
Open House is an excellent opportunity for parents to experience their child’s school life and it is very important for parents to attend. While kindergarten and early grade Open House events are usually jam-packed, attendance can be more sparse in upper grades. But it’s an important event, and parents should make every effort to attend every year.
Many parents have more than one child in a school, but only parents of multiples face the challenging logistics of having two children in the same grade. For parents whose twins are in the same class, there is less of a problem. But when twins are in separate classes, parents literally have to be in two places at the same time. What’s a parent to do?
There are several strategies that can be utilized to make an Open House at school successful. Employing them will help parents to maximize their experience. Use this opportunity lto earn as much as possible about your child’s teacher, classroom environment and school culture. This information empowers you to be an asset to your children’s educational process.
Divide and Conquer: One way to approach Open House or Parent’s Night is to assign an adult to each child. Dad can visit one twin’s class while Mom attends the other’s. But sometimes, that’s not possible. If both parents aren’t available to attend, enlist the help of other adults: grandparents, aunts and uncles, babysitter or friend. However you accomplish it, aim for one adult per multiple.
However, I often found it limiting to attend only one of my twin daughter’s classes. I felt like I was missing out on the other’s, leaving a void. So, my husband and I looked for opportunities to switch off. For example, in middle school, I attended the classes for Twin A up until the lunch period, and went to Twin B’s after lunch. Meanwhile, my husband followed the opposite course. Then we both got a taste of each of our daughter’s class(es).
Take Time to Introduce Yourself: Open House is a group event, not an individual experience. It is not a parent-teacher conference and it is not the appropriate forum to talk about issues pertinent only to your children. However, I do think it is an ideal time to briefly introduce yourself to the teacher and make her aware that your student is a twin. Don’t monopolize her time beyond a few seconds, but even that small amount of face time will let you establish a connection, communicate some information and get some answers that will help you follow up at a later time.
Obviously, if the teacher has both twins in her class, she is aware that they are multiples. But often, a teacher teaches both students, but at different times of the day, for example in middle or high school where students attend a series of classes throughout the day. In other cases, the teacher may not be aware that their student has a twin. This is important information to bring to the teacher’s attention.
Follow Up: Plan for follow up communication with teachers. Teacher conferences are generally scheduled later in the school session, perhaps at the conclusion of the first grading period. Other meetings are only scheduled when requested by parents or the school, usually when problems warrant further discussion. But, as an involved parent, you don’t have to wait for an official conference to communicate with your twins’ teacher(s). Follow up soon after Open House with a phone call, email, request for a meeting, or even a quick handwritten note. Tell the teacher that you enjoyed meeting him or her at Open House and communicate any additional questions or concerns.
Network: In addition to visiting classrooms and meeting teachers, Open House is an important opportunity to meet the parents of your children’s classmates. Take time to chat with other parents; find out their children’s names so you can follow up with your child about their friends. As your multiples get older, their friends will play an increasingly important role in their lives, and you’ll want to know more about them. Open House is a great chance to network with other parents about carpooling, volunteer opportunities and social activities.
Goals for Open House:
- View the classroom environment.
- Meet the teacher.
- Introduce yourself (briefly!) and identify your twins in the context of their class(es).
- Network with other parents of students in the class.
- Understand expectations and goals for the year.
- Become familar with the materials and textbooks used in the classroom.
- Review classroom rules and procedures.
- Identify best ways to communicate with the teacher in the future. (Does he or she prefer phone calls, voice mail, email or scheduled appointments?)
- Seek opportunities to be involved in your twins’ classroom or school.
Tip: Take notes! If you are visiting multiple teachers and classrooms, it’s easy to become confused. Write down important information so that you can refer to it later.
Tip: Take a look at textbooks and write down the title, author and ISBN. You may be able to order used copies at a reasonable price to keep at home so that your kids don’t have to lug them back and forth.
Tip: Give the teacher tips for telling your twins apart, especially if they are identical.
Tip: Even if your schedule does not permit you to be involved in classroom activities, you can often volunteer in your twins’ school by donating needed items, or helping with administrative items (phone lists, email updates, newsletters) on your own time.
Tip: Open House is not a teacher conference. Keep your interaction with the teacher brief; don’t monopolize her time. All of the other parents are eager to talk to her as well. If you have individual concerns that you need to communicate about your twins, schedule time to meet at a later date.
