Should your multiples share a bedroom?
From wombmates to roommates ... many parents of multiples find it most convenient to establish a single nursery for their baby twins, triplets or more. One bedroom houses all the cribs; one closet contains the dozens of cute infant outfits. That's a wonderful solution for babies; however, as the children grow up, most parents begin to weigh other options.
Same sex twins are often more likely to share a bedroom than fraternal multiples of different genders. Multiples who join a family with older siblings may share a space with an older brother or sister
Deciding how or when to establish separate bedrooms is an issue that most parents face at some point. Every family is different, and every set of multiples shares a unique bond, so there is no definitive timetable for making the transition. A home's space limitations may determine the final answer, or the multiples themselves may indicate a preference that prompts a change. While every family will have their own timeline, there are several stages when it is common to make the move to separate bedrooms.
In the toddler years, a shared bedroom may be a distraction during bedtime, especially once the children transition out of cribs into beds from which they can climb in and out. Naptime becomes playtime when there's a buddy in the room! So, parents may be motivated to separate their multiples in order to promote more peaceful.
However, toddlers can be very sensitive to the separation; it may feel like a punishment rather than a privilige. The presence of their co-multiple(s) may be a comfort, and the separation may create even more disruptions. If you choose to establish separate bedrooms for your toddler twins, time the move carefully to avoid conflicting with other lifestyle changes, such as potty training or starting preschool.
As multiples grow older, they are better able to communicate their feelings and desires. That's when parents can ask for input, allowing their multiples to express their preference and accomodating their requests as they see fit. Starting school is often an important milestone for multiples; they may be in separate classes for the first time and begin developing their own identity.
The school years are a common time to make the transition to separate rooms, especially as students need a private place to study and complete homework. If separate bedrooms are not a possibility, parents should at least consider establishing individual desk areas for each child to promote good study habits.
Establshing a sense of responsibility and individual accountability is another motivating factor for separate rooms. In fact, that is exactly why we decided to move my twins into their own rooms. We found it increasingly difficult to encourage cooperative cleanup of their shared bedroom; the mess was always "sister's" fault and there was endless squabbling over possessions. Once they were ensconced in their own rooms, they found it much easier to keep track of their "stuff." We found it much easier to hold them each accountable for the upkeep of their room.
Although they've had their own rooms for nearly a year now, they still choose to sleep together from time to time. They enjoy the companionship, and I don't mind, as long as they go to bed on time. Their giggles and whispers remind me of the old days, when they shared baby talk and threw their stuffed animals from crib to crib.
What about your family? Take the Parent's Poll and tell us what works for your twins/multiples.