In the first part of this article, we looked at twins and their shared friendships. Now let's talk about individual relationships.
Separate Friends
Other twins and multiples form individual friendships. This scenario is most commonly adopted by boy/girl twins, who are more likely to have separate friends than same sex twins or multiples. This situation is also fraught with some challenges, particularly when the friend is not sensitive to the twin's relationship with his or her co-twin. It's important for friends to recognize the special bond between twins; some children can be jealous of the closeness and confidences that twins share.
Tips for Parents
- Don't establish a precedence that your twins are a package deal by always insisting on joint play dates. Keep the lines of communication open with other parents so that they know you welcome individual playtime.
- Encourage your multiples to pursue individual interests and activities, and support the friendships that form as a result of those experiences.
- Be sensitive when one isn't invited.
Social Discrepancies
Jealousy can also rear its ugly head between twins, especially when one twin has a more active social life. When someone is left out, parents may have to step in for support. Whether it is providing hugs and reassurance to a shyer twin, or orchestrating activities that facilitate social interaction, it is important to be sensitive to each child's individual personality and create solutions tailored to their needs.
Tips for Parents
- Acknowledge and appreciate your multiples' individual personalities.
- Take an active role in supporting each twins' social experiences, arranging play opportunities for a less social twin when necessary.
- Read Parenting School-Aged Twins and Multiples by Christina Baglivi Tinglof. It has some great information on twins and friendship.
What do you think? Talk about your twins and their friendships: Comments.
