Paulina writes: "My (2 year old) twins are changing a lot. They do not want to eat their regular meal, they want to choose their own clothes and make a lot of mess for every little thing my husband and I try to do with them... THEY WANT ALL, THE WANT NOTHING!!!! Sometimes they are two angels and when you turn around they can be.... UF!!!!" Paulina writes from Chile, where multiple births are rare. She's looking for support and sympathy from other parents who can relate to the fickle nature of a two-year-old twosome.
Stop by the message forum and share your advice and comments. How did you survive the tempestuous trials of toddler twins?
Stop by the message forum and share your advice and comments. How did you survive the tempestuous trials of toddler twins?
Hang on in there. My twins girls are now 14, and I found life SO MUCH EASIER after they were 3……..
Everything in life passes. I quite enjoyed my girls wanting to choose what to wear – it saved me thinking about it. The trick is to hide summer clothes in winter and winter clothes in summer. They are probably trying to make themselves into individuals – maybe you could arrange separate play dates – one to a friend’s house, the other has a friend to your house – or one to grandparents while you take the other somewhere. They are 2 different children (mine always were) so enjoy them both. Good luck
I have twin boys who are 4-1/2 now. We did not have the “tough twos” as you are now, because our sons have autism. We ARE having the “fickle fours”…and it is just as you described. Today I like turkey, tomorrow I won’t. Today I will play nicely with my trains and my brother, in ten minutes, I hate both. It is maddening. I USED to try to break it all up and make peace. Lately, I have been letting THEM try to work it out and stop coming to me for every little infraction. And it seems to be working…they are able to play together longer without incident AND enjoy it. They definiely have different personalities, preferences and tastes. Usually,we comply with their preferences, but once in awhile, we shake things up and do it opposite. At first, this was extremely hard for them to accept, but, over time, they don’t protest much. For us, it’s all about making it a game or making it fun…and enjoying the ride.
Hola Paulina! We have 2 year 4 months old fraternal twins, Migue and Alex. Our boys are learning about independence too, it is very hard!!!! so my husband and I suggest you these tips:
1. Clean boys’ room of excess furniture, make it easier for them, like a ‘montessori’ room, I mean bed close to the floor (no crib) so they can explore by themselves, potty close to the bed, a little desk with a mirror, a comb, and a brush; please visit this website, it’s one of my favorites, so you can understand what I mean: http://sewliberated.typepad.com/sew_liberated/2009/04/finnians-montessori-room.html
2. When you change their clothes, choose yourself 2 different t-shirts or slacks or shorts, put each in a plastic tray close to them and make your twins pick their own, so they will learn every day they can choose between the 2 options you gave them, they feel secure and independent because they made up their minds, and you feel happy because you are impulsing their independence, don’t panic. And please only handle 2 options, no more because it can confuse them now.
3. During meals put gently always a limit for eating; our twin boys don’t eat all days exactly the same the day before, but every day I try hard to give them the right food, apples, chicken, cheese, etc. I sit them and wait 30 minutes. If they eat, perfect! But if they don’t eat I take all food away until next meal, and during next chance I try hard different fruits, fish, and other healthy flavors. Remember, if your kids watch you eat fries or green salad every day, in time they’ll learn exactly to eat the same you do!
4. Try hard every day with your twins to play with different toys, and teach them how to pick them up at the end, tide up first, remember independence means also responsability for their things, and I’m sure your kids are going to love it in time.
For me was tough the first day I realized our boys grew up, ain’t no babies anymore, now they are toddlers and they don’t need me as much as they used to. I suggest to you don’t panic, try every day to have an hour for yourself in sports or get a nice hobby, and relax. Life goes like water. Good luck and you are not alone! Double blessing, and double work (and double amount of coffeeeeee!)
Zini