Going Their Separate Ways: Back to School with Twins

My twin daughters received their schedules from their middle school this week. In spite of the written request I submitted to the school earlier in the summer, they were not assigned to the same team. Our local middle school is structured into teams of 4-6 teachers who teach the four core subjects: math, social studies/history, English and science. For 6th and 7th grade (and even in elementary school, with teams of two teachers), the girls were on the same team, but with different class schedules. They were never in the same class at the same time, but they had the same teacher and curriculum for each of those subjects.

This was an ideal situation for our family on many levels. It coordinated projects and assignments, helped the teachers know the girls individually as students but also understand their twin dynamic, and helped us keep in communication with teachers.

After contacting the school, we discovered that the separate team assignments were an oversight, not an intentional change in policy. The Guidance Counselor assured me that they are always happy to accomodate special requests from parents of multiples, realizing that parents know their children best and can suggest the best situation. Unfortunately, there's no way to rearrange the schedule to put them on the same team -- or at least without making one or the other of my daughters very unhappy. Because in middle school, of course, it's not just about the academics. Social issues are tremendously important. Who's in the class is just as important as who's teaching it and what you're studying. After spending hours on the phone ascertaining who is -- and who isn't -- in their classes, neither is willing to budge to accommodate the other.

So, in order to keep the peace, they'll begin eighth grade on different teams. With different teachers, different homework, different assignments, different tests. It's going to be an interesting adventure. Many of the little conveniences that we've enjoyed will no longer be available, such as having one twin bring home assignments when the other is out sick or sharing books. With eight teachers to contend with, I won't be able to enjoy the level of communication and interaction that I've experienced in the past. And forget about Open House night, when the parents follow an abbreviated version of their child's schedule. With my husband unavilable that evening, I simply can't be in two places at one time. (How will I choose which class to go to? What's fair?)

The other interesting aspect about this upcoming year is that they will actually have one class together. They both chose the same foreign language elective and there is only one section of that class for their grade. It will be the first time that they've sat in a classroom together since kindergarten.

We've only got a few days of summer left, and those days will be packed with last minute summer fun -- trips to the beach and water park, errands like hair cuts and back-to-school shopping, and a few more stay-up-late nights and sleep-in mornings. Then it's back to the routine of the school year, only this year will be a little bit different.

Back to School with Twins and Multiples:

• Should Your Twins Be in the Same Class?
• Twins Laws Protect Families at School
• Back to School with Twins & Multiples: Save Money, Get Organized and Make Memories
• Help Teachers Tell Your Twins Apart at School
• Handling Homework

Visit the About.com All About Parenting Blog Carnival for more Back to School Resources and Information.