Breastfeeding Guilt
Friday November 23, 2007
For mothers of twins or multiples who can't breastfeed their babies, the guilt can be tremendous. I still get teary when I remember my painful decision to give up breastfeeding after ten weeks; I was so worried that my babies would grow up to be weak, sickly imbeciles becasue I couldn't give them enough mother's milk.
Nearly thirteen years later, that's certainly not the case! They're confident and secure, healthy and strong, (not to mention taller than me!) and honor roll students. Would they be any different if I'd continued nursing them? I don't think so.
Still, I feel the twinges of guilt from time to time. What about you?
• Resolve your breastfeeding guilt.
• Talk about it in the message forum or leave a comment to share your thoughts.
Nearly thirteen years later, that's certainly not the case! They're confident and secure, healthy and strong, (not to mention taller than me!) and honor roll students. Would they be any different if I'd continued nursing them? I don't think so.
Still, I feel the twinges of guilt from time to time. What about you?
• Resolve your breastfeeding guilt.
• Talk about it in the message forum or leave a comment to share your thoughts.
Comments
As a twin mom, the hard work of nursing was just part of what I had to do. I think MOMs need way more support than we get - I really wish this would be the lead story because we all know that 1 set of twins does NOT a study make.
The hospital forced me to use formula while I was there because my milk had not let down and my twins were crying a lot in the nursery and driving them crazy. After discharge from the hospital I immediately discontinued the use of formula and started breastfeeding. My poor breasts went from a size A to a D. They were stretched beyond their limits. I had very hungry boys and I felt like I was nursing all day long. It sure seemed like it! But I stuck with it and they grew fast (and chubby)! I even pumped milk for my husband to bottle feed them when I was at work. We nursed until they weaned themselves a little after they turned 2. We also discovered that all the crying was not due to hunger… as soon as we snuggled the boys together and I cuddled next to them they would settle down. They just needed to be close to each other like they were in the womb. The hospital separates them right away and they are so afraid that putting them together will end up in a suffocation scandal. They have always done best when they were together. My boys are healthy and strong and will be 4 years old in about a month. The breastfeeding was worth it and mom’s need more support, especially from their husbands.
I agree that twin moms need a lot more support from the getgo. We gave my twin boys formula in the hospital, and it was a good thing, because my milk did not come in at all until they were five days old, and prior to that I had just a few drops of colostrum. I don’t think they would have survivted on a few drops for five days! I pumped and pumped till I was blue in the face, trying to bring in my milk, but I guess at age 45 and after a C-section, my body was just not interested in producing a lot of milk. I also felt terrible about it, but I followed all the standard instructions (keep well-hydrated, pump every time you turn around, take fenugreek, think happy thoughts) and it just didn’t want to show up in an amount that was very useful. So my boys, at 8 mos, have been fed mostly on formula, and seem to be very healthy. I will add that I am still pumping and feeding them the little bit of milk that results every day, to give them antibodies. The thing that made me really angry and upset during the first few months were the breastfeeding nazis who INSISTED that unless I fed them ONLY breastmilk, my boys would have two heads or something. I was already doing as much as I could do, and it just made me feel guilty, sad and frustrated. That wasn’t very helpful.
I breastfed my twin sons until they were about 6 weeks old. I stopped because I could not take it anymore health-wise. I had lost all of my pregnancy weight, and then some, and was starting to look anorexic. I agree with the the comment above that the nurses in the hospitals become breastfeeding “nazis”. The message they gave me was “breastfeed no matter what - that is your only option”. But, they never gave me the information that I needed to make it successful. For instance, no one told me that I needed at least an extra 1000 calories a day that I would be losing through BFing. Or the fact that I need to be constantly drinking water. Through my sleep deprivation and tiredness, my mental state deterioated, to the point where I walked away from my crying, hungry babies! It took my pediatrician to finally set me straight. He told me that I’m still number 1 and in order to take care of my babies, I needed to take care of myself first. That’s when I decided to go ahead and start formula feeding them. After that, I was much more alert, less tired, and a much happier mom to my twins. I feel that too many people these days demonize formula and make it out to be so inferior to breastmilk. Breastmilk should still be the first choice, but formula is a wonderful, healthy alternative.