When One Isn't Invited...
Friday June 8, 2007
It happens to all twins eventually. They may be twins, but they're not a package deal, and eventually one will be invited to a playdate or an outing or a sleepover or a birthday party ... and the other is left out. It can be heartbreaking for a uninvited twin -- and a difficult situation for parents. Dealing with Disappointment: When One Twin Isn't Invited.
• How do you handle it? Share your comments.
• More Tricky Issues for Parents of Twins & Multiples.
• How do you handle it? Share your comments.
• More Tricky Issues for Parents of Twins & Multiples.
Comments
I just dealt with this last weekend. The one not invited was a little upset, but she lived through it. I talked with the mother who had no idea the girls were twins (identical in different classrooms) and she said the other could come over too. I thanked her but also stated just because they are twins doesn’t mean someone is obligated to take them both. The situation works best if the parent maintains control and tries to explain and console, pointing out the positives of one-on-one time with other siblings and parents. My girls never played the twin card (we always stressed individuality) until they got to school where people now point out they are twins (as if they never knew?).
Thanks for your comments. I really liked your advice about explaining and consoling, and pointing out the positives.
This is really helpful information, thank you. I find it is difficult to know when to stand back and let the situation unfold, and when to step forward and express the impact on our family, though when I have explained it that way to other parents they are very appreciative.