1. Parenting
Twins can be the best of buddies, but also intensely aggressive towards each other. A mom on the message board describes her situation with 2 1/2 year old twin boys: "Sometimes the wrestling starts as a game, but always ends in crying and fighting. There has been biting (sometimes to the point of welts and blood) and now we have deliberate scratching -- usually to the face -- that has drawn blood numerous times. Now there is yelling and pushing too."

How do you handle it when your twins fight? Stop by the message forum and join the discussion.
Comments
November 28, 2006 at 8:04 pm
(1) mindy says:

I have identical twin little girls that will be three soon. They cuddle and kiss a little bit, but mostly they bite, hit, smack and fight over everything. Even if they have the same toy, they each want what her sister has. Don’t feel alone.

November 29, 2006 at 12:49 pm
(2) Mom of b/g twins says:

I have B/G 22M old twins. The fighting is constantly, & my daughter bites my son so much, I think he is afraid of her!! I am in the same boat too! I have tried time outs, spanking, bribing & nothing seems to work. I hope this is just a phase that they we grow out of soon!!!

November 30, 2006 at 1:48 pm
(3) momma of b/g twins says:

My twins fight A LOT. They draw blood. The minute I tell them I will separate them, they cry like mad. Go figure.

December 1, 2006 at 8:03 pm
(4) Heather says:

You are scareing me my boys are 14 months and just started really fighting.

December 10, 2006 at 7:20 pm
(5) Amanda says:

Thank GOD I am not alone…my g/g twins are 23 months and all they do is fight these days. It was like a light switch went off one day and all went down hill…My youngest bites, hits, punches, kicks, pulls hair and my oldest twin, only fights to fight back but the tears and the sadness and the screaming is enough to drive me over the bend somedays…I am not sure what to do but nobody warned me of what life with toddlers would be like or what to do with twins that fight…HUH! TO BAD THERE IS NO MANUAL…one day at a time people! That is my motto…good luck to all of you…send me some too!!!

December 10, 2006 at 8:02 pm
(6) Sherri says:

My B/G twins are 5 1/2 years old and they can play very well together…most of the time. But sometimes, he’s just a little too physical with her (pushing, etc) and she, of course, screams…but mostly they are agitated by their big brother who is 12!!! (he’s old enough to behave…I keep telling him). Oh, just remember…these are the good days!

January 31, 2007 at 10:09 am
(7) Loreta says:

I have b/g 20 mo’s old twins. I am loosing my mind with the fighting. I try not to spank them but what else can I do? I put them each in their crib but that works for a while and then they are at it agian. HELP

August 8, 2007 at 8:34 pm
(8) lisa says:

twins identical b, 3yrs one is the stronger so when he hits or stratches its so much more serious than when the other one hits or fights out… arrgh i dont know what to do

September 21, 2007 at 1:03 pm
(9) Bobbie says:

We have identical twin 3yr old boys. The youngest is usually the biter, but both are very aggressive to each other and their 4 mo old sister. Beginning to think we were doing something wrong.

January 11, 2008 at 1:11 pm
(10) Candy says:

I have identical twin boys. They are 2 1/2 years old. They started fighting before their first birthdays. They bite, scratch, hit and when we went to pre-school they hit and bit the other kids. If I put one in time out because he hit his brother, his twin will get mad at me for putting his brother in time out. So strange. They hug and love each other too but the aggressive behavior is awful.

July 29, 2008 at 7:48 pm
(11) Flory says:

I have B/G twins. 25mos old. The boy always liked to bite. It’s how he expresses his emotion, either sad, mad, happy, excited…My girl however, I hate to say is agressive. She will kick him for no reason. Deliberately scratch his face, pull him, drag him. He crys and my husband gets upset because his boy is a WUSS………..I hope it’s a phase. Glad to see we are not alone!!!!

August 25, 2008 at 5:13 am
(12) debbie says:

My 26 year old twin nephews have always fought and never had the relationship that my twin and i have, but 2 nights ago one of the boys literally beat the other up and he ended up in hospital. my poor sister doesn’t know what to do with them. The injured one is moving to the US for 3 years and swears that he will never speak to the other again. it is so very sad because when they do get on, they are great fun together.
deb x

August 27, 2008 at 7:30 pm
(13) Akemi/svtwinmom says:

I find that my b/b twins (age 3) fight mostly when they’re tired and/or hungry. So I try to make sure they’re well fed and well rested, but am not always successful.

September 27, 2008 at 10:07 pm
(14) kelly says:

My B/G 23 mo twins are driving me crazy. After they turned 1 it was smooth sailing until now. She is 4 min younger, 12 lbs lighter and smaller framed and bites, pushes, bullies the other, she’s very aggressive to the point I think he is afraid of her at times. Now today he started pushing her back and hard(remember he’s a lot bigger). So maybe he is finally standing up to her…I try to explain sharing and previously when she was hitting him and biting so much I convinced her to kiss instead of hit that helped a little while now they are just going at it. At least after reading everyone elses stories I don’t feel so alone!!!

October 1, 2008 at 12:28 am
(15) sarah says:

I have g/g twins that just turned 2 .I don’t want to take them out in public for the bite marks and scratches, bruises that they have given to each other . the older one likes to start it but the younger will finish it by biting the mess out of her or scratching her in the face ( i do keep the nails as short as possible)also the younger has a hearing problem so – i think sometimes she gets mad at her sister when she says something and doesn’t hear her sister respond ( she has hearing aids but it has been an uphill battle to make her keep them in). i am glad that others are experiencing the fighting as well .

October 21, 2008 at 3:24 am
(16) Andrica says:

We have b/b twins and they are 2years 7 months old. My husband thinks I am contributing to their fights because I scream at them when they are fighting. I am almost going crazy with the fights. The biting has stopped. I am just happy and relieved that I am not alone.

October 26, 2008 at 9:17 pm
(17) kelly mann says:

i have twin girls that are 2.5, i can not control their fighting. i have seperated them into their own bedrooms, seperate them into seperate rooms when they are getting out of control but i do not want to have to seperate them all the time. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO !

November 3, 2008 at 9:17 am
(18) Jenna says:

I have 4 year old twins B/B. I have found that when they spend too much time together they fight terribly, but when they have some time apart they miss each other soooo much they get along, and cannot what to be together. I have learned that they need the time apart and boy what a difference. They need to feel like they have something that is their own time with mom or dad by themselves is impairitive. Hope I could help:)

November 21, 2008 at 2:07 pm
(19) Amber says:

I have 3 year old identical twin boys. They are a huge handful right now. I have tried everything and sometimes the constant whining, screaming, hitting, kicking, scratching and biting sends me over the edge. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who will allow me to take a “Time Out” I also find myself yelling out of frustration too. A couple things that have helped for me is rewards like: You get your socks and shoes on with out whining and you’ll get a penny for the gumball machine. They love putting the penny in & helps they stay focused and calm for short periods of time. Splitting them up so they get one on one time with each parent not only gives us a big break and a chance to enjoy each one but they do miss each other. The last little piece of advice is hard to follow but does work. When the are out of control, I calmly carry them to their bed and whisper in their ear (so they have to quiet down) “you can yell in your room if it makes you feel better. Mommy doesn’t like it though, When you’re ready to quiet down, you can come out & play. It’s easier for me to yell at the moment but I feel horrible later & it does not work. Hopefully this loud aggressive phase will pass very soon!

February 25, 2009 at 3:44 pm
(20) kellie says:

OMG!!! reading these comments is like listeneing to myself! i have 18mnth old b/b,s and they are just so horrible to each other! i thought there was supposed to be this magical connection with twins. Err i am yet to see it. unfortunately this nasty behaviour gets carried onto daycare where each of the boys chooses a child to pick on for that day and is relentless. biting, pushing, and just plain bullying. i abhore bullies and am devastated that my boys already are. where’s the manual!!???

February 25, 2009 at 3:55 pm
(21) kellie says:

hi i have 2 feral, frat twin boys. they are like chalk and cheese, one is my husband and one is like me, (the poor child.) i thought twins were supposed to have this magical connection going on!!! not in this household. it started in the womb all this kicking,now is has just developed into biting, hitting pushing and they are only 18mnths old. unfortunately this naughty behaviour carries on to daycare where they each bully a child of their choice. i abhore bullies and am devasted that i have two of them at the moment. we have tried it all and now we have two naughty mats that they spend alot of time on!!! and god help me, we are going for another round;o)

March 26, 2009 at 1:44 pm
(22) Amy says:

My 24 month g/g twins fight constantly over toys, drinks, food, everything!!! Hitting biting, pulling hair, etc.. It seems we are all in the same boat…Does anyone have any good ideas to get through this phase??!!!

April 21, 2009 at 3:56 pm
(23) Sonya says:

WOW, I am so relieved to know I am not alone. I have soon to be 3 year old twins (boy and girl) and there is no reason or rhymn to the madness. It’s not hunger, or sleepy, they just go at it any time of the day. I do think that some of it is boredom, sometimes need individual attention which is soooo hard to do with twins, especially when my husband works 14 hours a day. The face scratching and biting stopped about 27 months then they went to pushing and spitting, now…they are doing it all!!! They bite and scratch me when I try to discipline them. If anyone knows the miracle to make it stop let me know. The hardest part of my day is trying to stop them from hurting each other and that would be about 40% of the day.

April 24, 2009 at 9:14 pm
(24) Ryan says:

I have 2 1/2 year olds g/g twins and they couldn’t be sweeter….to everyone else but each other. They recently started a new daycare and are doing great with other kids, but they fight with each the whole time. They both always go to scratch each others’ face by pinching and pulling on their cheeks. Daycare says they are great with everyone else, but they are starting to have to separate them because they keep attacking each other. Today I picked them up and they were in separate high chairs playing with toys because they fight over the toy the other one is playing with. There has to be some way to get this to stop!

May 25, 2009 at 12:05 am
(25) Sara says:

I have two fraternal twin boys, 2 1/2 years old. They started one month ago wrestling, and now is going out of control. What’s the best way to stop them?.

May 29, 2009 at 4:34 pm
(26) Scottie says:

My only relief now is to see i am not alone i have been trying to figure out what i am doing wrong , i have 29 month old twins boy/girl the boy is so aggressive towards the girl i have tried time outs and that does no good its seems that it makes him worse after he hits,bites or throws a toy at her he tries to come to me with open arms? Do i reject this is so hard and was not in the brochure haha sorry just trying to stay sane! Thanks for listening

June 15, 2009 at 11:07 am
(27) Gaby says:

b/g 18mth old twins and they fight over everything!!! My son is tall and about 5 pounds bigger than my daughter. He grabs her by the hair brings her down to the floor giggles and walks away to the next best thing. Seconds later he is at it again, she is slimmer but defends herself by slapping him and biting him. I don’t know what to do!! I have tried everthying from NO!!! to hug and kisses, I seperate them. Good thing I’m not the only one going crazy…TX Mom

June 24, 2009 at 7:29 am
(28) gloria says:

believe it or not! i have identicle twin boys 29 months old. They still dont realy talk only some words but smart as heck. anyways the very first time i ever seem them is on a ultra sound at my doctors office and guese what they were doing? yup1 one was hitting the other! i could not believe my eyes. i asked the doctor if the other baby could feel that he said yes! what the heck is wrong with this pic? that was the start of my fighting even in thier sleep twin boys! buti got to love them they are cute!

July 13, 2009 at 3:26 pm
(29) THERESA says:

So glad I am not alone !! g/g twins 21 mos and fighting the better part of the day. Started about 2 months ago and has become worse every week. Hair pulling and head locks seem to be the sport of choice. One dominating the other relents. I feel so bad I dont know how stop this, I pray it is short lived ! When they parallel play the are fine. (like in seperate rooms !)

August 10, 2009 at 2:24 pm
(30) Rosa says:

I have 3-1/2yrs old frat b/b and they drive everyone insane with the hitting,punching,biting,scratching,and kicking. Not only are they doing this at home.But now at preschool I am receiving complaints about them fighting eachother. The oldest twin keeps attacking the youngest twin but at home its vice versa. They are finally being separated for the next school year. Maybe this will make a difference but I am so glad I was able to read comments from other parents going through the same thing. I least I know it seems normal for twins to behave this way

August 26, 2009 at 11:42 pm
(31) kristina says:

Ok, I have to admit; reading this blog is sort of depressing. I have 14 month old identical boys and I am barely keeping it together. They are AWFUL!!!!!!!!! They are like little jealous animals that do all the same scratching, biting, pushing. Seriously, who are these boys? And still…sounds like there is no end in sight. UGH!!!

September 5, 2009 at 9:05 pm
(32) Leah says:

OMG i thought i was goin mad!!!
I have 2year old twin boys and they are like little animals!!! They fight as soon as their eyes open in the mornin to when they r in bed! They are everywhere i cant even do the dishes!!! I was searchin for a way to try and stop it… oh well looks like im not going to lol they attack me too! I left their father when i was pregnant and he sees them once on the wkends… they seem to be worse when they come back to me tho! They destroy everythin! they have ripped my living room door off, ripped the draw off a tv unit, the door off a wardrobe… snapped a buggy handle, broken 2 tvs and 3 dvd players!!! I was convinced they had behavior issues!!! Today shoppin they were buttin kickin scrachin punchin and i could feel people staring at me lol people tend to think im younger than i am and i get asked for ID a lot!!! These people obviously just dont understand twins r Hard work with a capital H…. Im totally shocked… no body warned me all twins are like this lol x

September 7, 2009 at 5:43 pm
(33) Sabine says:

We have 5.5 yr old B/G twins and I am sorry to say it does not get any easier when it comes to the fighting. Yes, they still fight, but the good new is that now they also play a lot together – which is one of the great upsides of having twins. My advice when they fight: Don’t take sides! Don’t get involved! Stay neutral and calm when addressing them! Give them one warning! After that, if they don’t stop, seperate them for a few minutes. This way you don’t get all worked-up every time they fight and it gives them a chance to calm down and they learn to re-direct themselves.

September 9, 2009 at 10:12 pm
(34) doll_ccw says:

i have 10 month old b/g twins who have been fighting since they were 6 months old. The girl is the aggressor and laughs when she is discilplined. She thinks everything is funny or a game. I dont know what to do either.

September 15, 2009 at 9:31 am
(35) Marian says:

My twins, b/g, are 22 months old. They can be great to each other, love and kisses but they also fight constantly about everything. He bites and pulls hair and she basically pulls his hair. Even if they have the same thing sometimes they still want what the other one has. I am glad to read that this happens to other twins, because nothing seems to work. Time outs are a joke for her (him at least seats when I put him on the spot). If I yell at them when they are doing something wrong they laugh at me. This is going to drive me insane.

September 16, 2009 at 1:50 pm
(36) Susan says:

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!! I have been in tears lately because I feel like I have failed as a mother. My 2 year old twins b/b fight constantly. They fight over the same toys all the time. They are constantly arguing. It is not very physical, except for the occasional push or hit, its just constant yelling at each other, crying or whining. Its hard to listen to it all day! Same thing though if I take one out with me and leave one with my husband, they miss each other! Weird huh? Hoping its a phase as well. But thanks to you all for being honest and posting this! Made me feel better today :-)

September 17, 2009 at 11:10 am
(37) Michaela says:

My 3.5 year old identical boys are driving me insane too. So much screaming, pushing, fighting. Every morning is a battle, trying to get out the door to take my older daughter to school. Occasionally, we have a calm morning, and things run smoothly, but I can’t easily pin-point how that happens. I’m trying to find the trigger for the tantrums – sometimes it helps to tell them the day’s plan in advance so they know what we’ve got on, where we’re going etc. Sometimes it doesn’t help at all, and I have one in meltdown before he’s even got out of bed. Often, I have a yin-yang day, where one boy is oh-so-happy, and his brother is oh-so-not. And the happy one rubs it in like you would not believe. Quite funny, except the grumpy one is on a high-tension-wire all day, constantly needing to be propped up to prevent falling into the abyss of yet another tantrum. I’m exhausted, and feel like I’m missing out on my daughter who is constantly swamped by her demanding, loud brothers. I was hoping that 4 will be this magical age where it all turns happy and calm, but after reading these posts, I’m not sure that I’m counting on it.

September 24, 2009 at 12:30 pm
(38) Kelley says:

I am just at my wits end. I have 3yr old identical twin boys and they have done everything you’ve mentioned and then some. I thought 2 was pretty tough but 3 has turned out to be even worse. I feel like we cannot take them out in public anymore to do even the shortest of things. I work p/t from home but my husband is away at work a lot leaving us here which is hard to separate them. Surprisingly, though the fighting isn’t the worst part for me. I have two other boys who are older but it does come with the territory – I don’t like it but it will lessen with time. What I am finding intolerable is the “not listening” and destructive behavior. They play outside daily or we go to the gym so they can blow off steam and when we’re home we play games; do crafts etc. but it’s never enough ANY down time where I am not 100% focused on them they are destructive…pouring maple syrup on my carpet; throwing things against our walls; screaming at the top of their lungs; spitting their water all over the place; anything and everything they can get their hands on they will seek and destroy. My other two boys NEVER acted this way and I am not sure what to do. We’ve tried yelling, spanking, bribing, negotiating, distracting, and the famous Naughty Matt (which seems to be the most effective) but to be honest they’d be in there all day if I used it every time). They get one verbal warning to stop and then it’s over to the naughty matt which we’ve been using since they were 18mos. Nothing is breaking the behavior though. It’s exhausting, embarrassing and has reached a point where I just cry out of sheer frustration. They are extremely smart, cute and fun but the destructive behavior has got to stop. They purposely pee on the floor; this morning one even pooped on the floor on purpose. I’ve resorted to locking all the doors in the house except their playroom and the living room. I just can’t keep up – they are winning. HELP…it’s good to know I am not alone but I am at a loss. Right now I am just trying to find a full-time job outside the home so I can put them in preschool in the hope that an environment with other children and more challenge will help and keep me sane.

September 28, 2009 at 4:30 am
(39) Gabrielle Fenwick says:

Wow I am so relieved to read all your messages.
We have identical boys 5 years of age.
They go to kindy and fight each other all the time.
The poor teacher wants to separate them.
We thought we were doing something wrong and we were some sort of freaks and we failed as parents.

September 28, 2009 at 8:36 am
(40) Dadof B/G twins... says:

I have 26 mo old B/G twins & they still bite once in a while…It was worse when they were smaller & couldn’t really talk. When they are in close & want the same thing…usually someone gets smaked ot bitten…I promise it gets better as they learn to communicate.

October 3, 2009 at 11:12 am
(41) goinggray says:

My twin girls are 7 and the fighting had gotten worse. They now fight over the stupidest stuff, like who has more bubbles in the bath tub, or who will get out of the car first. I am at my wits end! Every morning I tell myself I will not yell today. Today I turned into Mommy Dearest, I yelled so loud I scared my daughters. But I know it really didn’t impact them cause 10 minutes later they were fighting over the tv remote. There has to be a better way.

October 5, 2009 at 11:36 am
(42) Nana says:

twins are not any different from regular kids, I have a boy and a girl (not twins) 231 month apart, that were fighting until they were about 14 years old. The point is all siblings figth.

October 6, 2009 at 2:17 pm
(43) Mommy of three girls says:

HAH! I have identical twin girls that are 3! After reading everyone’s messages I know I’m not alone in the bickering, telling, pushing and spitting phase. The twins even argue about who’s turn it is to sit behind me..I’ve finally taken to putting them behind each other behind me in my mini van to keep the fighting down. My girls are in separate class rooms because they fight at school, not physical just whining at each other and taking toys. It has helped LOADS in the class but at home, we still have issues. It’s great to know that this is something all twins go through. Yes siblings fight, but I think there is a common misconception that they are twins, so naturally they should be bonded together..NOT!! My girls look alike, sound alike..etc..but they’re OPPOSITES! Thankfully for us..time outs work..we also use a water bottle, so we don’t resort to spanking, because they think it’s okay to hit then..however, as soon as the whining starts and someone gets sprayed..it’s silence. Thanks everyone! I don’t feel so much like a bad mom.

October 13, 2009 at 11:50 am
(44) CRYSTAL says:

I have twin girls who are 15 months old and fight constantly. Very seldom do they have moments where they get along or play together. Suprisingly my smaller twin is the bully, she is always hitting or biting her sister. My bigger twin girl is so laid back she never fights her back she just cries. I sure hope this gets better, I really want them to get along with each other. The moments I catch them playing together it is so sweet but very short lived.

November 23, 2009 at 1:03 pm
(45) Danielle says:

I have fraternal twin boys that are a little over 2 and a 3 year old girl and a 7 year old girl…all four of them fight eachother…my twins fight over normal toddler things ( trucks, candy, sippy cups) as soon as they fight my 3 year old jumps in (like a triplet)and encourages one over the ohter and then my 7 year old is yelling at them because she cant hear t.v or the computer and then all four are on my living room floor wrestling…its to the point where I cant use the bathroom, make dinner, wash clothes or anything as soona s I turn my back they are at it and they really get hurt and because they all are fighting they never know who did what to them…now I know how my mom felt raising 5 girls…when will it end….

November 27, 2009 at 4:40 pm
(46) Folse Carin says:

Wow people, it’s Thanksgiving Day! I’m happy with my extra day off, and I am planning to make something fun that’ll probably involve a car trip and seeing something new in Round Rock I haven’t seen yet.
You write new post at Thanksgiving?

December 8, 2009 at 3:51 pm
(47) renee says:

I have 4 year old fraternal twin girls. The younger twin is constantly hitting her sister and barley shares with her. Her temper tantrums are out of control, her screaming is so loud and she is so demanding. How much longer can I deal with this? It is constant aggravation. When I have one at a time they are angels but as soon as the other comes home it’s all over. I wake up with stomach aches every day. At least I feel better reading all the posts here.

December 18, 2009 at 4:04 pm
(48) Jessica says:

I have 2 1/2 yr old twin boys & they are driving me nuts thats all they seem to be doing these days is fighting…scratching,Biting,pinching,slapping,pulling hair ugh they are just too much….they are getting so bad that we cant even take them in public that much b/c its constant fighting and jealousy plus they look horrible from all they bite marks and bruises its embarassing…hope it gets better!!!!

December 28, 2009 at 8:56 pm
(49) roxanne says:

omg!! I am a mother of twin 2 1/2 year old boys, and i am soooo glad to hear that I am not alone. My boys destroy everything in thier path. And they get into things like you would not believe. I find my self screaming all the time until my voice is just about gone. I spank them, put them in time outs and nothing seems to work. Someone please help me.. by giving me some ideas of how to make my life a little bit more pieceful. Thank you

January 13, 2010 at 4:09 am
(50) skipkent says:

4-y-o fraternal twin boys here. My boys fight, but it’s more squealing and noise than anything. I find that very irksome, but it’s a lot better than the all-out scrapping I’m reading about here and there! What I do/don’t do is this: DON’T referee except in exceptional cases. DO have REAL CONSEQUENCES for bad behaviour. If they’re crying in response to the consequences, so much the better. I give my boys 5-minute timeouts, and don’t let them come back downstairs until they give me a verbal “Yes” in response to my request for good behavior. In restaurants, I’ll drag the offending twin out of the restaurant saying, “That’s it. You and I are going to sit in the car for the rest of the night.” Then, when we get to the car, I offer to give him 1 more chance if he agrees to stop misbehaving. They always agree and we’ve never yet actually sat in the car ; ). I do this sometimes when travelling too, never mind that ‘our car’ is nowhere in sight. It’s fun to see people’s expressions as I drag a screaming child out of the resaurant only to have him walk in quietly (I refuse to carry them back, they must walk) with me a couple of minutes later! My advice, DON’T be afraid to raise your voice from time to time and DON’T be afraid to hear them cry. It is our DUTY as parents to set and enforce boundaries for our children.

January 13, 2010 at 4:24 am
(51) skipkent says:

A raised voice is ONLY effective if the children know FROM EXPERIENCE that an unpleasant consequence is the next most likely step. Otherwise, you can scream yourself hoarse and they will just tune you out.

January 21, 2010 at 10:04 am
(52) naomi says:

Until I read this I thought I was failing terribly at being a mother of 3 year old twins b/b and 4 year old boy. Now I see that its what most of them do, screaming, hitting, fighting etc. Today one of my twins hit a 3 month old baby on the head and that was my breaking point. I was in tears and so was the baby. I wish their was more support for us all.

January 22, 2010 at 8:17 am
(53) Nicole says:

B/B age 4 twins …..

I was so shocked whne for the 1st time on having the twins i got a call from their school complaing that the twins keep fighting and how the younger twin has really hurt his brother …. i was so confused on what to do and how to speak to them … but from reading all your threads i will incorporate the policy of separating them ( putting them in different rooms) when i see this happening … but it is hard for them to apply this policy in school as they both have playtimes together! .. cant wait for them to be separated in full time school ….

January 22, 2010 at 11:00 pm
(54) Jennifer says:

I have never laughed so hard when I read these posts! I am not alone! Our fraternal boys are 5 and we can relate to everything that has been mentioned! we have had our kids separated at school for the last 1 1/2 years and that seemed to make the teachers happy. As for the “my turn” issue, we took a calendar and put each of their initials on every other day so they can look to see whose turn it is, it makes car rides of who sits where a lot easier. We are just now starting to go to restaurants, the mall and outings again. They still wrestle, punch, etc. but it seems to be easing up. We have one twin who has lost 2 teeth and the dentist says it will be ok. I always wanted 3 kids but we are done at 2!!

January 26, 2010 at 12:25 pm
(55) Jemi says:

My 2 1/2 fraternal twin girls fight half the time, play half the time.

One is a biter, and now the warning is whenever she attempts to bite or succeeds in biting, her favorite thing is taken away for a day (getting to wear a dress to daycare). This makes her quite upset, but seems to be working so far.

February 2, 2010 at 12:39 pm
(56) sarina says:

I have b/b 28 mo. olds. They are the best of friends in the waking hours, but when it comes time for bed, they are my little monsters. They are both in beds now and not cribs(they have both figured out how to climb out of them). When one falls a sleep befor the other, the other one will either hit or throw something at other to wake him. It seems like what ever it takes to make the other cry. One is bigger than the other. One night I awoke to a hurting cry, one was setting on top of the others back, and he couldn’t get up. This scared me to death, so for the last week they both have been sleeping with me so I can keep a eye on them. The only time I get to myself is when they are in bed, now that time is no longer mine either. What can I do? Help anyone with suggestions!!

February 8, 2010 at 11:09 pm
(57) alicia says:

Wow I just don’t know what to say. My girls are 15 months and they destroy my house and fight. I founf a onsie in the toilit and pots under my bed wth? I don’t understand. I am thinking about separating them for a week and letting them see each other at daycare. I need to take a trip. I don’t know if its a good idea or not but somethings got to give. I like the spray bottle idea and I’m going to try it I hope it calms things down a bit

March 29, 2010 at 6:12 am
(58) shannon says:

We have almost 3 year old identical twin boys, they get on pretty good, but do fight over what each other have or their older brother who is 6, has! My trouble is the screaming, they scream all the time over every thing and any thing!! It’s so hard to handle and all the advice doesn’t seem to work, we’ve found out because of their delayed speech, they don’t say alot, they scream because they can’t make them selves understood. They are saying more words the screaming isn’t as often but still bad!! They do fight and bite (only one of the twins, he draws blood and leaves a big round bruise), pull hair, hit, and push each other, smack each other over the head with toys, it’s so scarry to watch. Their older brother is scarred of them as they hit and wack him too! Hopefully they will get better as this is a really new thing, our older boy never did any of these horrible things.

April 18, 2010 at 10:20 am
(59) Ange says:

I have 3 1/2 yr old twin girls that are fraternal. They fight all the time, kicking, punching, pulling hair, graging 1 another across the florr by her hair…Scream all the time.. They come crying to me, I tell them you want to fight dont cry to me deal with it yourself. Then other times they play so well…When they are apart for a as little as a half hour they got to ask for the other and call and talk on the phone.

May 13, 2010 at 3:51 pm
(60) Jeannette says:

So good to read this thread…makes me feel “normal”…..I’ve been feeling so very badly these days because of all my screaming… :( I’m still going to work on not doing it….but at least now I know I’m not a maniac! :) My twins (b/b) are 2.5 and they are driving me MAAADDDDD!!!! they fight over everything!! And the bigger one (but not older) takes EVERYTHING from the other one….I’ve taught the other one to say no and stand his ground….and he does speak up now…but eventually it turns into a fight….usually a quick swipe to the face….I too am embarrased to take them out sometimes because of all the scratches and bite marks!!! I’m feel like I’m losing it sometimes and really do feel like crying most days….I hate being this way and mostly I HATE HATE HATE yelling at them :( sometimes I hear myself in them…they yell like me when they’re frustrated about something….that makes me feel like an AWFUL mother……*SIGHHHH* they’re so little…..smart and so darn cute…..I feel so guilty because I don’t want to look back on such a special time with regrets…..I want to enjoy this special time with my little guys….but some days I don’t want to get up in the morning…..so sad!

May 18, 2010 at 11:00 pm
(61) Terri says:

you know sat down opened up the computer and typed in twin fighting. i read all these remarks and with tears in my eyes finally feeling that i am not to blame by being a bad parent to my identical 2yr old girls. so many days lately where all i want to do is leave, yep pack my bags and let my husband deal with bringing them up. i am soooo sick of yelling and even more concerned about my negative feelings towards them. my 4yr old is also getting in the middle of their twin fights and getting hurt herself. my anger spilling over to her. what really fascinates me is that people expect twins to have this naturally occurring bond and seemed shocked they fight like this when i tell them. i too have stopped taking them out for fear of their aggression on other kids. thanks everyone for sharing your stories it truely has made me feel less alone.

May 26, 2010 at 2:08 pm
(62) pat says:

I have just finished what feels like my 100th breakdown which under normal circumstances is not like me. I googled twins fighting. I have read all of your comments and although I know I am still going to have to deal with my b/g 2 year olds constant fighting this is the most relief I have found. I really thought I did not deserve to parent these wonderful children. I didn’t think I could handle it but I see how many of you are having the same problem and feelings. I know I can do this. I will go back to just taking it one day at a time. Thank you for your comments.

May 27, 2010 at 1:40 am
(63) Mary says:

Get used to it ladies. My twin boys will be 12 this August. It doesn’t get any better.

June 17, 2010 at 1:09 pm
(64) Crazytwins says:

Oh wow.. How does any mom keep thier cool??! mine are going to be 2 next month and constatly they are fighting! I have a older family friend in which I grew up with her twin boys and all I remember was them fighting and screaming.. I asked for her advice and she said all she did was ignore them when they started whining for attention. She would make sure they had what it was they needed water, food, snacks.. when they fought she would just pull them apart without raising her voice… today as men one is an architect and the other is a deputy for homeland security…. wondering if that works..lol and my boys get into everything! they take apart everything! they have managed to break into the kid latches on my cabinets… now I am getting them ready to start daycare in July as I get ready to get back to work.

July 16, 2010 at 3:38 pm
(65) TiredTwinMom says:

I wish I could take all you moms with me on a vacation for a year so we could all get some REST and perspective on twin motherhood. (And all our twins would be in a magical preschool/daycare that would teach them to be CALM and play peacefully with each other!!) I am mom to 3 1/2 year-old b/g twins who fight about 50% of every day, mostly lots of yelling and crying and drama, not real physical stuff. Like so many of you, I wonder every day if I am a hopeless mom because I can’t seem to stop it. Thank goodness I’m not alone. I recently read that we should try to give them simple tools to prevent conflict, rather than try to resolve conflict once it starts…like making them always plan some rules before they start to play together, even writing those rules down – like “no yelling,” “take turns with the ball for 2 minutes” “say sorry if someone gets hurt.” Also fantasy games with NO toys to fight over might help. For example, they can pretend to be animals in a jungle and keep making up new scenarios and new rules as they go along, like “okay, I’m a monkey” “I’m a lion” “I want to ride on your back” “you can’t because I’m too small” “then I’ll pick some magic berries so you can grow bigger” “ok, let’s find some!”

January 7, 2011 at 1:49 pm
(66) Exhausted Twin Mom says:

I am a mother of B/G twins who are 21 months old. After reading I am glad I am not alone but and sad to hear that we have many long years of fighting ahead of us. My only way of dealing with them fighting is to try not to yell because it will only teach them to yell. I just ask them to share and be kind to each other. Maybe one day they will be? who knows? I pray alot and I just take it day by day. Try to stay positive ladies. Your not alone–

February 14, 2011 at 3:59 pm
(67) j says:

I have 2 year old F/T/G’s, I am at my wits end. I don’t know what else to try. They are so mean to everyone. They hit, bit, take toys. I recently started ignoring the twin that hits. I figured, everthing else failed, so I’ll ignore her. She’ll hit me 5 – 10 times on the leg before she gives up. I guess I should be happy that she gives up, but I’m not. The other twin takes toys away and bites herself when she is mad. She even puts herself in the corner for time-out. What do you do with a child that puts herself in time out?????

March 23, 2011 at 2:39 pm
(68) Linda says:

These comments are such a haven. I have 5.5 B/G twins who fight like savages. CONSTANT. Of course I blame myself because where else would they get this BUT I am fairly mild mannered. We don’t have the type of home environment that I would expect would promote this type of aggression. And they are aggressive toward me too — including hitting. I am starting to blame myself less as time passes. I’m starting to believe that the competition for the SAME things at the same time throughout their short lives must be exceedingly frustrating for little people. When alone my babes are perfectly well behaved and they are well behaved in school. Thanks goodness I have that. All advice involves separating them when they become aggressive — does anyone understand how difficult it is to separate two children when alone. It can be physically impossible unless you lock them both in separate rooms and I won’t keep them locked in anywhere ever.

April 11, 2011 at 6:08 am
(69) Nupur says:

I have no baby yet but when I read you concerns, I smile. Just imagine how lovely your kids look when they get naughty. I know it a pain for you now, but you will miss these days later in your life. Cherish these moments. And post them on you tube too so that I can see the action :) .. All the best ladies

May 3, 2011 at 4:57 pm
(70) Jamie says:

I’m sad reading all of these comments!! My b/g 20 mo.twins fight so much it’s embarrassing! I can’t handle it anymore, and as I read….it doesn’t seem to end. They fight over everything from food, to who gets to put their hand in the cupholder. My tiny little girl bullies her brother, and he just lets her do it then cries at me.
My 3 yr old son just has to sit there and endure it. I get so frustrated that I end up screaming at them, and later I feel guily. I’m SO tired of fighting screaming twins. They are so sweet, and beautiful….it’s hard to see them get so angry with each other.

June 9, 2011 at 12:08 am
(71) 3 Boys Under 3 years says:

**NOTE** This is a hopeful response. : )
I have 2.5 year old identical twin boys and a 1 year old boy. The fighting has increased in these last couple weeks. I don’t mind wrestling, but it seems to switch between laughter and screaming so quickly that I can’t keep up with them as the constant “police”. Now that their little brother is mobile and interested in all their toys, it has gotten much louder around here!
I came online to find out if anyone else was dealing with it. Obviously….not alone.
Anyways, I wanted to share a couple things:
1. We have to be consistent. Some mornings I will actually give myself a pep talk before I start the day. “Okay, if they do _____, I will respond like _____”.

2. We have to spend real time with them. I have a friend who says her kids are most frustrating when she is trying to accomplish too much. This afternoon, I purposefully gave them full attention and things went MUCH better.

3. Give them time to learn how to play without any sibling interruptions. I don’t know if your kids do the same thing, but I feel so sad watching my boys clutching armfuls of all their favorite toys because they are afraid of being stolen from. Some things should not HAVE to be shared, in my opinion and sometimes time alone helps them in their individuality.

4. We cannot passively float through this stage. Deep sigh. We can’t give up and check out. I’m with you on this.
An amazing book that I would recommend is by Danny Silk “Loving Our Kids on Purpose.” Helped me understand children quite a bit!

June 29, 2011 at 2:59 am
(72) Kendra says:

I have 18 month old fraternal boys who are such big hosses that one would think they would be little sumo wrestlers. But fighting hasn’t been an issue…yet. So far they are pretty good at conflict resolution. I have a very laissez-faire approach to their few squabbles. I ONLY intervene when they continually lash out at each other. In those VERY few situations, all that is required is about 5 minutes in separate rooms. After their “chill time” they are fine and back to being best friends. I suppose it must help that I never yell or spank them (or their 3 year old sister). I believe that children feed off the energy that surrounds them. If you can stay calm (or remove yourself from the room for a few minutes when that’s not possible), then they will eventually calm down.

September 1, 2011 at 7:17 am
(73) Razan says:

Thanks for you all, I read a lot of your threads and I feel better now..my situation is similer to your Jeanette.. I creied when I heard yours …My 18 months old boy twins beats, scratch each other and I just Yell them and then feel soo geilty and sad.. The only thing I can do it when they I don’t lose my mind is to hug them and let them feel my love..

Sad Razan

October 4, 2011 at 1:37 am
(74) Nana (laura) says:

I see there are alot of parents with same trouble with twins hitting,biting, scratching,pitching,etc.. I am raisng grandsons, 24 months twins. My children were nothing like this. The pre school are about ready to drop them. they are hurting others,I just don’t know what to do any longer…I see comments, but no answers. Help!!! Nana

October 22, 2011 at 9:39 am
(75) sandra says:

Im glad I found this website. I have twin girls, 2 yrs and we have the same problems. I dont think Im a bad mother anymore. Thank you all for sharing.

October 22, 2011 at 11:53 pm
(76) Alecia says:

Thank you all for your comments I too have G/G 16 month olds I also felt like a bad parent(mother) often wondering what I am doing wrong my baby girls. They fight,bite scratch each other,and always want each others toys, however they also love and kiss one another and are not mean to others babies thank God. I have often asked parents that have twins that are grown and out of the home for suggestions and all I ever hear is “just enjoy them”. What does that mean….well I think this may mean. Raise them in peace try not to show your frustrations, try not to raise your voice take a breather and just hug them show them your love. I agree with exhausted twin mom remember we are the teachers of our precious Lil ones. So from this day forward I will pray and be positive take all of your tips on helping my precious Angels from being Lil mean girls….

October 28, 2011 at 11:17 am
(77) Julie says:

whew! I too feel much better after reading all the comments!
We have nine kids, the youngest being identical twin girls that are 2 1/2 years old. Our Oldest is 24, so we have lived through a lot lol but none of our other children ever hit each other, bit ect… The twins are so sweet and obviosly love each other but they are biting, pinching, hitiing throwing things at each other and their 5 year old brother all day long. I am constanly re-directing and trying to discipline them for negative behavior and reward them for positive ….its exausting! They are always into things. Drawing on walls pouring things out, going out the doggie door, I cant take my eye off them . They climb everything! Sometimes I feel like I am not going to live through it …lol but other than that stuff they are wonderful.

November 2, 2011 at 4:00 am
(78) J says:

This may seem cruel and unusual to some of you out there, BUT IT WORKED! My 3yo g/g twins got into a spitting “phase” at each other and their older sister (7 yo) about a month ago. Then about ten days ago, it happened… the youngest spit right in her mothers face (I’m dad, by the way). when I reached for her, mom said “don’t get her too hard,” (She knew how I felt about spitting on someone… or even the act itself..It is a disgusting habit/act) to which I replied, “I’m not going to whip her at all…” I grabbed her, held her arms to her side, and covered her face with MY spit!!! I continued to hold her arms where she could not wipe her face off…(for about 30 sec to a minute). She was FREAKING OUT…(crying,screaming, gagging even)! BUT, SHE LEARNED HER LESSON!!! :) About two days later, her sister decided she would give it a try, with the exact same results!!! Although they were extremely upset, (livid would be more accurate) we have not had a single episode of spitting in our house since that day. For those of you judging me right now, when conventional measures fail you must think outside the box!

November 19, 2011 at 9:20 am
(79) Liz says:

My boys are 4 and identical. They will be 5 in April. Terrible two’s was nothing… their needs were difficult with a full time job but they adored each other. At 3 their heads spun around and green vomit flew across the room. Very little biting but the constant fighting over any object endless. Whatever Charle has until this day Joey wants. It could be a pen cap. Charlie used to out smart him and go get another toy until Joey came to get that one and then go back to what he really wanted but now he fights back. They whine, they scream, they hit… ever ending competition. I think our biggest mistake was always trying make sure everything was so equal. If one had 5 grapes the other had 5 grapes… this isn’t real life and I regret feeling pressured to think they would feel I loved one more if they didn’t get all equally. My only other advice which is a joke because who am I to give advice when these boys are driving me over the edge is there is child care/ preschool involved – SEPARATE them immediately. I wanted them together forever but after the first year and a lot of persuading from their teachers I did seperate them at 3 and it was the best thing I ever did. It sure didn’t feel like it at first and they gave me hell for it but I can only imagine what kind of hell they would have raised at 5. They are 2 little people that need to develop their own identity and hearing “which one are you?”all day I am sure is maddening. They love having their own teachers nd friends and all reports from school are wonderful. Sometimes I wonder if they are making it up. Noone ever said parenthood was easy… but I have to stop caring what others think and keep doing what I think is best even when the cursing never seems to end…

November 22, 2011 at 12:50 pm
(80) f says:

I am relieved after reading all the comments but still cant decide what to do!!?? I have twin girls turning 5 in december …they used to fight at home but was some how was managed but now the problem is at school……although they are separated but play time is the same….if one play with other kids….the second one gets jealous and go and push or hit the other kids…I really don’t know what to do…how to stop it although I have talked a lot with them but nothing is working….how do u separate two kids living in the same house!!?? they want to eat, drink, play etc etc etc the SAME…no matter where!!

February 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm
(81) Kerry says:

I have g/g 2 year old twins. Reading all the previous comment have made me cry but relieved I am not alone with this problem. All they do is fight and torment each other all day long. The youngest by 10 mins used to bite, but the older one has a weight and height advantage, I’ve tried everything naughty step, yelling, separating them into different rooms and screaming at the top of my lungs, which really doesn’t help, can any one help PLEASE!!!!!

February 26, 2012 at 12:02 pm
(82) lindsey says:

I have 3 year old twin boys and all they do is fight, but it is very 1 sided the smaller twin is the fighter and the bigger twin just tries to defend himself his poor face is covered in scratches and they are not just small scratches they are scratches that bleed. I am at my wits end with it i dont know what to do anymore they just dont listen especially the smaller twin hes just out of control :0(

June 3, 2012 at 11:46 pm
(83) Marylou says:

I have 2 yrs old twin girls and the youngest is always mean to her older sister they are a min apart, I mean the youngest always pulls her sister’s hair rolls on top of her and throws things at her, But the oldest she doesn’t do anything about she will just sit on the floor and won’t do anything how can i get the youngest to stop being rude to her sister. And how do i get them to understand the word no and how to displine them without spaking them, I hate spakeing my kids what should i do please help.

July 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm
(84) Liz says:

I have twin boys that were two in April and they do play lovely sometimes but I have more fighting,biting,and scraping and the high pitch screaming is ear peircing it drives me mad my neighbours must think I’m murdering them some times it’s horrible. I can’t believe how quickly it changes I have a 5 and 6 year old too but they play lovely and I can’t understand why my twins arnt like them have I done something wrong or is this how most twin behave i tried the step, time out and they just think its funny I have resorted to standing there whilst they are on the step just to keep them apart,I never will forgive myself as my best friend little boy has been bitten on several occasions I felt so bad honestly luckily she understands what they can be like,I but them some days I have nothing just a bit of argueing over toys which Is quickly resolved with a kiss and cuddle. Why can’t they be like that all the time?

July 23, 2012 at 11:28 am
(85) Linda Jacobson says:

I am the 62 year old grandmother of fraternal twin granddaughters that will be four in September, that live with us (my infirmed husband), daughter and son-in-law (since they were nine months old). They don’t know how to discipline or raise children and the results are killing us. I was relieved to read that the behavior they are going through is normal; however, I do think some of it is also caused from the yelling and screaming between my daughter, her husband (they don’t get along most of the time), and my yelling at my daughter. Both of them were out of work for two years and now are both working with the girls just starting daycare. The girls are angels at school (their third week now) but when I pick them up at 3pm, it is total chaos at home – especially if it is raining and I can’t take them outside (we live in South Florida). Everything is funny to them, they laugh at being spanked, put in the corner, etc. The spitting JUST STARTED and we thought it was from one of the kids in their school class. From reading all the entries here, it looks like a new habit for twins!! Nothing we do works. I’ve even threatened with a Nanny McPhee came to get them to listen. It worked for one day!!! We cannot send them to their room for punishment, not even one of them because they will destroy the room in seconds. Nothing is valuable to them except one of them has a security blanket. I can’t take that away from her as a punishment because she’s already insecure. The other one doesn’t have an attachment to anything special. It doesn’t get any better when their parents are home but we can at least venture into our bedroom and lock the door for some solace!!!!! We love these girls more than anything and they do have their loving moments with us but keeping our sanity and health is a top priority. Does anyone have any solutions, ideas, etc., outside of calling Super Nanny?????

August 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm
(86) Lijana Halstead says:

B/G twins are almost 7 months and my daughter got 9 fresh bruises from biting brother. I’m so frustrated.

August 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm
(87) Jessica says:

I have 23 month twin girls that fight,pinch,scratch and bite each other and dont know what to do nomore they keep bitting after i separate them. is it normal will it go away

August 24, 2012 at 1:09 pm
(88) Allen says:

We have twin girls (19 months) – their fighting has been intense form early on. It is very stressful to hear the constant screams and shrieks. Very stressful. But, sure seems like this is common. On top of this, the noise stresses out our 4 year old.

September 6, 2012 at 5:29 pm
(89) Heather Reymunde says:

I’m pretty sure you are talking about my kids- they sound EXACTLY like this!!! I’m getting ready to make separate rooms for them because I cannot handle seeing their faces so beat up and bloody!!!!

September 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm
(90) Jene says:

I am relieved after reading these comments although I dont think we have come to any solutions. My twin 2yr old b/b are crazy and yes they jump yell hit climb bite dont sleep well. We dont have anything in thier rooms but beds. We also have a 7yr old boy who stirs the pot and loves wresteling the strong willed one and letting them outside and into things he knows they aren’t suppose to. Its hard finding anyone willing to watch my crazy kids to give us a break. Truely this is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my entire life. My husband works long hours to keep the nice things we have and doesn’t fully understand that im home 3hrs in the evening alone getting dinner and everything else together while being a referee to these animals. I work to stay sane. My husband and I struggle to keep a good relationship we are exhausted and an emotional wreck. I love my boys and wouldn’t give them back for anything. I just hope we can survive them. I am hoping my nanny survives them too. I am currently contemplating going home right now to rescue her because they are being so bad.
Thanks for listening.Some things just have to be said out loud or to someone who understands.I feel a bit better getting this off my mind and knowing that i’m not a complete failure and not alone.

October 15, 2012 at 9:40 pm
(91) Kelly says:

Thank you God! Reading this is like hitting the lottery….I was just in the pediatrician’s office pleading that something was wrong with my 4 year old identical boys…..I kept saying….”this can’t be normal” and he would smile….and say it was completly normal….and now I might believe him….they are lunatics! I of course directly blame my husband’s gene pool…because no child in my family ever did these horrifying things…lol….I love my boys….but the posts I read was like reading my own life! When I fond out I was pregnany with boys…..my cousin, who had twin boys, started cracking up saying ” you are F@%!$d!”….and now I know why. If any of you find a magic answer…..share! And if not….but you survive the next few years….share too!
Thanks a Million for being brave to say it all out loud! Cause I was too embarrassed to…until now!

November 13, 2012 at 11:24 am
(92) Llevy says:

Hi,

I am a twin myself and my sister and i are now 31 and although we had massive fights when we were younger we finally grew out of it as we grew up and now we are the best of friensd and live just three doors away from each other. Our own children now are just 15 months apart and they FIGHT with each other like mad, they are like brother and sister and if they have had a whole day together they are a nightmare! it’s embarrasing as they always want what the other one has got even though there are hundreds of toys! I just go with the flow, make sure they are disiplined for time out and drink lots of wine!

Just wanted to reassure that as they get older it will get better and being a twin is very special as you get older my sister and I are really close.

Louise

January 22, 2013 at 9:19 am
(93) stacy says:

I have B/G 22 mth old twins and they fight All the time, my lil girl is always getting jumped on a beat up from her brother he is just so rough. My lil boy screams all the time,throws things, and just.is hard to handle. His sister.is startin to pick up on it so its twice as hard. I have a 6 yr old son also who has a aggression problem an a.d.d. n him attackin out has showed my twins what to.do…Ive tries.spanking,time out,no snacks,no games,no tv ive tried everything… i find my self so over whelmed sometimes i just cry… so when u find something that helps please pass it on… i jist pray it gets easier

March 6, 2013 at 2:23 am
(94) nannaboo says:

Wow I am amazed at these stories because Im going through these same struggles. Im raising my twin b/g grands, they are two last Jan. Im going to stop worrying so much now. My grandson is always hitting his sister if not taking everything she gets her hands on. I just try and referee and tell him whats right. Whether its dont hit, or you cant take it from your sister. I show them how to wait there turn until the other one is done with the toy (yea right). I feel so bad for my granddaughter she just lets her brother take her things and cries or he is banging her her into the wall, sitting on top of her etc. The other day he was trying to pick her up by her ponytail as she sat crying. I feel so bad for her she flinches most of the time when he comes near her. He will get mad and pick up big toys and through them at who ever is close by. I love them so much and cant stand the thought of being apart from them. But every day I’m thinking to my self oh my goodness I need a break! I quest the only thing I can do is take a day at a time and remember this cant be forever. One day I hope to be sitting and laughing with them and telling them how they were as kids.

April 6, 2013 at 9:09 am
(95) Julie says:

At least there are other people out there who understand but it doesn’t really help us does it. When in public I feel shamed by the comments strangers make or their ‘knowing’, patronising smiles. Yes I did it better with 1 girl too but I’m at a loss as to how to manage my 3 year old sons. Yes I do ‘lose it from time to time but try to be as calm as I can most of the time. I suppose we just have to be consistent and remind ourselves daily why we had children because somewhere between the fighting, destruction, mess and chaos, it really is difficult to remember.

April 8, 2013 at 1:08 am
(96) Julie says:

I have 2 sets of twins. My first are b/g twins that just turned 7. Never fight or argue, in fact my son will play dolls and house and when he wants, she’ll play cars, trains or even wrestle.
My other twins are identical 3 yr. old boys. I have also tried everything. They don’t bite, but when they think I’m not looking, they take, yell, push each other and are just mean.Sometime I feel so horrible thinking what did I do to deserve this. Most of the day I have a hard time being with them because I feel they have no compassion for each other. Worste thing is that they need almost 100% of my attention so my other kids suffer their wrath. I’ve tried everything and nothing works. When my husbands home from work, they aren’t angels, but they sure act a lot different and listen to whatever he asks them to do, unlike me who asks kindly and gets ignored!

April 22, 2013 at 3:27 pm
(97) kurt says:

I have twin girls, now 18 months. They can be so sweet kind and caring sometimes. Helping each other doing little chores like putting clothes in hamper before bed and putting their diaper in the garbage after a change. But most of the time they fight bite pinch scratch kick and pull hair. They will turn and say ” this bad” and keep on doing it. It’s very trying. I just hope they grow put Of it.

April 25, 2013 at 5:18 pm
(98) Ashley says:

I have 2 1/2 year old twin daughters and I am also a single parent. I’m reading these and I feel much better knowing I am not alone. Does anyone know of any support group sites that can help with things like these specifically in regards to twins. My daughters are always screaming and screeching and constantly fighting. I’ve tried separating them but it just makes it worse, they yell and scream at me and tell me NO. I find myself yelling back and I feel terrible. I’ve tried spanking putting them in their room and the timeout chair. Nothing works. It’s even harder being a single mommy and having no time to sit down because I am either breaking up a biting war/sharing issues or there into something. I hope things calm down soon.

June 15, 2013 at 12:29 am
(99) Leto says:

Thank goodness, I thought I was just a terrible parent! I have 14 month B/G twins and just in the last couple of weeks they have started biting each other several times a day! The frustrating thing is that it isn’t even like they are fighting when they do it. They love each other like crazy, are incredibly attuned to one another, and it seems more like they have just randomly decided to start exploring each other the same way they do everything else: teeth first! But it is really upsetting, because they leave tons of bruises on each other, and although they are easily comforted when bitten, I feel like if I were a better mom then I would know what to do, or at least wouldn’t get so frustrated and yell at them when they bite. Not that yelling does anything at all, mind you! My daughter just looks at me like I didn’t even say anything, and my son starts giggling when I scream, “NO BITING!” in my loudest, scariest voice. And when I try separating them (we have a fence system set up and we can divide their play area in half) they just toddle up to the dividing fence and reach out for each other and whine until I put them back together!

August 6, 2013 at 12:18 pm
(100) Adrionn says:

I have 20 month g/g twins and they bite to the point that they have teeth prints all over them. i have tried biting them back a little my mom said that’s what she used to do to me and i stopped, but it doesn’t work. they also hit and pull hair like crazy i am to the end of my rope i just don’t know what to do. im hoping this is terrible twos or something. anyone with any advise on how to get them to stop please let me know.

February 5, 2014 at 9:15 pm
(101) Kyla says:

Like most everyone else on here… I’m so relieved that I am not the only one going through this with my b/b 2 1/2 twins. My nephew is 4 months younger than my boys but a lot bigger and is equally aggressive. I feel awful because my boys are very coordinated and fast and my sister in law thinks they are just wild/awful kids because they fight like MMA fighters. I have tried different approaches but usually end up frustrated, crazy, and screaming.

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